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Although Jerry Garcia is gone, Deadheads keep partying

At the last Grateful Dead show I went to, I finally felt like a Deadhead. I sold beer and T-shirts and used the cash to buy my tickets. I set up shop next to a dumpster, made friends (and trades) with the neighbors and ordered grilled cheese -- hand- delivered for a dollar to our designated lot spot.

But that wasn't what made the show special. What made that show extraordinary was Jerry Garcia. He was on fire that night, hitting each tune with a passionate and bluesy vengeance. Dancing barefoot in the mud with my long skirt rolled up, I felt like I was in heaven, and I looked forward to the many shows to come.

But they never came -- and they never will. Jerry Garcia died last August. That day will never be forgotten by Jerry fans around the world who admired his beauty, his comfortableness in front of a crowd, his soulful voice and his intricate guitar solos. It will be remembered by those who gathered, shattered in vigils across the country that night.

Since then, mixed reactions to Jerry's life and death have surfaced. He was praised in many national publications. But some misinformed souls chose to focus on Jerry's unfortunate addiction and not his talent. His fans flooded the Internet with their tears and mournful poetry. Avid admirers like Bob Dylan told us what Jerry and the Dead had meant to them. Bob said, "There's no way to measure his greatness or magnitude as a person or as a player. His playing was moody, awesome, sophisticated, hypnotic and subtle. There's no way to convey the loss. It just digs down really deep."

It's hard for some to face that we'll never hear another Jerry tune. It's upsetting that we'll never feel that joy as Jerry guides our moods with his slow, gentle voice.

What's even harder to deal with is the immense flood of new fans -- the neo-hippies -- tarnishing Jerry's memory as they buy cheap memorabilia in Dead aisles at Best Buy stores. Or maybe they're buying any CD they can find that has "Touch of Grey" or "Uncle John's Band" on it, never really getting the true picture of what the Dead meant.

But some continue to trade tapes and mourn about what might have been. And some live in the hopeless hope that the Dead will play together and make that magic again -- wishing Jerry would somehow be resurrected.

But the word's been out for a while: the Dead as we know them are dead. They won't be playing together in a band -- at least not this year. But they'll be making some music, and I have high hopes for the summer -- particularly around July, when they are rumored to be hitting the Midwest.

The rumor going around is that a group of bands, including Bob Weir's RatDog and Mickey Hart's new band Mystery Box, will be traveling across the country this summer pulling seven-hour shows in a full-fledged bash tentatively called "Ship of Fools." Hot Tuna and Los Lobos might also be participating in the festival tour.

Bruce Hornsby also will make an appearance. Not only is this guy amazing, but he also satisfies the Dead lover in many of us, fulfilling the Jerry need with songs like "Brokedown Palace" and "Wharf Rat."

Don't expect much excitement from RatDog. They play a lot of cheesy Bobby songs, but it's always nice to see Bob on the stage, because, well, it's Bob.

Nobody knows who the other bands will be, but speculation is that David Grisman, Merle Saunders and the Neville Brothers might appear.

Will this be a pathetic nostalgia trip for those of us who have nothing better to do with our lives now that Jerry's dead? Will this be merely a forum for rampant drug use, like the chaotic Rainbow Gathering in Florida? I have faith that it won't. Of course we'll have a few white hats and neo-hippie freaks (who have been calling this Deadapalooza, disgustingly enough). But Mickey's and Bruce's talents for creating bluesy grooves are nothing to scoff at, and they certainly don't need Jerry's help to display their gifts.

If you're looking for the Dead to come back in all its brilliance, don't bother going. But if you're looking for some good music, some great times and some happy tunes, give it a shot.

Those of us who loved Jerry continue to mourn. But that doesn't mean we can't party in his memory.

-- Katie Hutchins can be reached

at katieh@umich.edu.