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Students, parents argue over majors

For many students, choosing between a career their parents want and one they would enjoy is a tough call.

"My parents want me to do something that is practical -- I would choose something for myself that I'd enjoy," said LSA junior Mary Jane Wagg.

Many students are torn between following their hearts or their parents' dictates. "I would love to teach preschool but my parents said no," said Danielle Stein, an LSA sophomore.

Career Planning and Placement counselor Judy Lawson said that overall, making career decisions is difficult because everyone has a different idea of what a career should entail. Parents, as well as students, have preconceived ideas, values and experiences that play a large part in making career choices, Lawson said.

"We want what makes her happy but we want her to be able to afford all that she's used to having," said Lynn Stein, Danielle Stein's mother. "I think teaching is incredible and a very underrated occupation but it won't afford Danielle the life she's used to -- it's a very harsh reality, but it's reality."

Salary is a major factor considered by both parents and students in making career decisions. "People think that money can buy happiness and in a sense it can, because then you don't have to worry about it," Danielle Stein said.

Some career disagreements between parents and students arise from a mismatch of interests. "They want me to do the law thing, I'd rather do something with music," Wagg said.

Lawson said she tries to encourage students to examine the idealistic side as well as the practical. "A lot of students make quick decisions about careers when it would be wiser to gather some information and make a more accurate decision."

Penny Morris, a LSA premedical adviser, said that in many cases parents define a career for their student and that from childhood, the student assumes they will enter that field. Sometimes, Morris said, students do not realize their goals are different until their junior or senior year in college.

"(Students) rationalize this by thinking that perhaps `(My parents) know me better than I know myself,'" Morris said.

As a result, a lot of people make career choices they are later unhappy with, said Vicki Hays, a psychologist at the University's Counseling and Psychological Services. Hays said people average six job changes in a lifetime.

There is no clear-cut solution to family feuding but Morris said alternatives exist.

Morris suggested counseling as one way for students to communicate with their parents. "Students need the strength to define their own goals and then to communicate to their parents just what those goals are. They have to learn how to convince their parents that they're not rejecting them but just choosing another pathway -- counseling can help," Morris said.

Morris prescribed summer employment for students who have doubts about their futures. "I encourage exposure in the summertime to several different fields -- internships and talking to current grads in the field are also helpful."

Lawson said students should define their priorities before making any career decisions. "Students should realize what is really important to them and then make their decisions."

Everyone has different conceptions of what a career entails, Hays said. "For some people work life is a way to support family and have leisure time, for others what they do is what they are," she said.