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Steve Forbes says that "America can't be bought," but damned if he isn't going to try.

By Michael Rosenberg
The multimillionaire "publishing magnate," as those who publish a lot of stuff are called, has backed up his Brinks trucks at the edges of Iowa and New Hampshire and poured out obscene amounts of cash. He has paid for advertisements in newspapers. He has posted fliers. Mostly, he has flooded the television airwaves with a mixture of insults and promises.

Typical insult:

"Bob Dole/Phil Gramm/Lamar Alexander ...

... is ...

a sell-out/part of the establishment/career politician

... and will...

raise taxes/sell out/raise spending

... and won't help ...

you/your family/the average hard-working American."

The promises mostly center around Forbes' promise of a flat tax, a mirage which has lifted him from the pack into a virtual dead heat with Dole for the Republican nomination.

Forbes promises that the flat tax will do a lot of things. One of those, he says, is cause the economy to grow at such a rapid pace that the government would receive more tax revenue, despite taxes being lower.

It won't happen, of course. No economist worth his necktie will say that. But economics is not the reason for Forbes' success. In a nutshell, Forbes' appeal is this: He criticizes the tax system and tells everyone he has an easy and perfect solution.

Who is going to argue with that?

Forbes' candidacy is merely the most absurd in a series of sad, uneventful attempts to take the Presidency. Dole is the likely nominee, based not on any particular vision or ideal but mostly on the fact that people know his name. Some people know he is generally well-respected in Washington, D.C. Most everyone knows he's been around for while, and he's tried this gig before, only to shoot himself in the foot. Dole's motto should be "Hey, it's about time we let the old guy win."

The rest of the field is filled by the uninteresting and the unexciting. Phil Gramm is in the disgraceful position of fighting Pat Buchanan to be the "true conservative" in the race, despite the fact that Gramm is a senator and Buchanan is a columnist for God's sake. (That's not a religious slur. Buchanan sees himself as a Columnist For God's Sake).

Apparently, having millions of dollars or a column three times a week is as important as having two decades of experience in the U.S. Senate.

Wanted: President.

Qualifications. Optional.

It is a tremendous sign of public distrust that many people would rather have someone unqualified run the country than someone who, heaven forbid, is from "inside the beltway," which is right between Moscow and hell on the list of America's favorite places.

The truth is, when you watch the results roll in on election night, the next President of the United States will almost certainly be ... the current President of the United States. Say what you want about Bill Clinton. Much of it is true.

Clinton has done almost all the things a sitting President can do to lose his job. Consider:

1. He raised taxes. (A noble pursuit, yes, but it would have been easier to win if he had just ignored the deficit, a la Reagan).

2. He said he regretted raising them so much. (OK, he was tired. But, politically it was a stupid thing to say, anyway, even if he actually believed it).

3. He is perceived to be involved in scandals. (Whitewater will probably turn out to be very little, but less has been used to defeat candidates in the past. The Paula Jones allegations don't even have to be true to be used against him).

4. He has a potential foreign policy nightmare in Bosnia. (A noble pursuit, yes, but a potential nightmare in the eyes of political strategists).

But despite Clinton's blunders, well-documented waffling, and remarkable lack of stature for the leader of the free world (not long ago, Dole said Clinton was not "a real President," an incredible slap in the face, even from a rival) he is still heavily favored to win this election. It's not even because of any noble pursuits -- it's due more to no Bill pursuits.

This nation could use a serious discussion about how to solve massive problems of national debt, education and crime. Instead what we may get is a cakewalk by an unpopular President.