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Weekend's spring break guide -- trains

Billy Strayhorn took the "`A' Train," and John Coltrane took the "Blue Train." We all sang along with "conjunction junction, what's your function" Saturday mornings on Schoolhouse Rock, and the Beatles talked about the "One after the 909." Cat Stevens took the "Peace Train" to oblivion. Some of you might remember Ozzy Ozbourne's "Crazy Train," and we all know that Axl Rose rode the "Night Train" to wherever.

Billy Crystal tried to "Throw Momma from the Train," and the "Terror Train" took cinema quality paradigms straight to hell. A train was made into a time machine in one of the "Back to the Future" movies. It's hard to name a James Bond film without a fight-on-a-train sequence, and Wesley Snipes and Woody Harrelson succeeded in mobilizing the entire Republican caucus against the movie "Night Train." And how could anyone forget "Starlight Express," the Broadway musical in which actors on roller skates played trains. Like it or hate it, it was a novel idea.

Streamlined trains epitomized progress in the 1930s, and it was rails that first linked the country at Promintary Point in the 1840s. All attention turned toward trains in the late 1800s, with the Populists attacking the big business train trusts. During the first and second great migrations of the 20th century, scores of African Americans moved North of the Mason-Dixon Line in perhaps the greatest exodus in American history.

The train has left quite a legacy on America. While train travel will never regain the popularity it once had, it's still viable and efficient transportation. Don't let the recent rash of derailings deter you -- riding the rails is a great way to travel. It allows one to forgo the psychotic arena of the airport, and it is free of driving induced stress. Buses are slower and less efficient, but the train still leaves the driving to "them." It's pretty cheap, too.

Riding Amtrak to Chicago from Ann Arbor costs only $10 one way on Mondays. Yes, that's right, $10. If you come back on a Monday, it's the same price; otherwise, it's $35 to return. Either way, $45 to Chicago round trip is a great deal. No car to park, no gas to buy and no accidents, breakdowns or tickets. As for derailments, someone recently quipped that rail travel is still the safest method of transportation.

I'm taking advantage of this deal -- I couldn't pass it up. Plus, I hate to say this, but I've never ridden on a "real" train. Sure, I've been on the People Mover in Detroit (Coleman's Train), or on the Huckleberry Railroad and even the commuter trains in Philly. But I've never been on a real-live Amtrak train. Pending my safe arrival in Chicago (read: I'm paranoid about train wrecks), I think the train trip will be a good old-fashioned hoot.

I plan on letting the murmur of the diesel locomotive lull me to sleep; I plan on watching the lazy towns endlessly roll by. Mostly, I plan on relaxing. The beauty of a train ride is that in my case, it allows significant "relax time," which is what I want for my spring break. I don't want to drive, and I don't want to worry about baggage claim at the airport. I want to sit for four hours on a train and take in the scenery and possibly a good book.

A friend and I rode our bikes to pick up the train tickets -- of course, our path led us by the Gandy Dancer. For those of you that don't know, the Gandy Dancer is a pricey restaurant that once was a train station. It's old, and it's neat. I've had the treat of dining there (of course I didn't pay), and the interior is incredible. It's fun to imagine an old steam locomotive, with a dozen Pullman Coaches following, coasting into the station. This image is short-lived, however, as a silver Amtrak zooms by at 60-plus mph, jarring you into reality.