Sections

`Roses' embedded in familiarity

Mention director Michael Goldenberg's "Bed of Roses" to anyone and receive a knowing look that seems to say: "Oh -- one of THOSE movies."

You know the kind: Boy meets girl; boy tries to win girl's heart; boy does everything for this one girl; girl goes through some major conflict (usually relating to a disease, an ex-boyfriend or a past secret); boy and girl finally "get it on" and live happily ever after.

You wonder why you sat through an entire movie just to see something that you could have predicted. Oh well, you think, you'll know better next time.

STOP and listen to yourself. You said the same thing when you rented "Untamed Heart" for your high school sleepover; when you saw "Some Kind of Wonderful" for the 100th time; when you finally recited every single line from "Say Anything."

"Bed of Roses" has a certain sweet, simple quality that captures its audience's attention. Lisa Walker (Mary Stuart Masterson), a typical, workaholic investment banker in New York City receives a dream bouquet of flowers from a secret admirer. Lewis (Christian Slater), the owner of the flower shop, makes the special delivery to her office.

It doesn't take a genius to figure out that he's the one who sent them.

At this point in the movie, two questions might be brewing in the minds of audience members: 1. Where did he get such a fabulous bouquet? (This can be rephrased as, `Where can someone get ME such a fabulous bouquet?') and 2. How the hell did some random stalker delivery boy find out where Lisa works?

So maybe Lewis enjoys midnight strolls through the city. Fine. And maybe he likes to look at all the lit windows as he walks along. We can handle this one also -- after all, most people have hobbies, don't they?

The next part, however, is slightly harder to digest. Lewis sees Lisa from her window one night and decides to fall in love with her. Does anyone else have a problem with this psycho?

Time out: Lisa has just violated a cardinal rule of survival in New York City -- Do NOT accept invitations from delivery boys whose peeping tom tendencies include you.

Regardless, the two begin to fall in love; at the same time, Lewis sends her more flowers than anyone has ever received in a lifetime. The movie's greatest flaw is not due to a lack of chemistry between its characters, but rather to its lack of conflict. Aside from Lisa's family issue and her anxiety, the two lovebirds seem to have no problems. Well, maybe there's one: After all, Lewis does send Lisa more roses than can fit in her apartment. What ever will she do?

The character of Lewis does not sit right with the audience. He is the delivery boy whose sensitivity, looks, charm and knowledge of flowers (of course) make him as close to perfection as a delivery boy can get.

If people remember back to Slater's performance in "Untamed Heart," they might notice glaring similarities between the roles. OK, so maybe he doesn't have a baboon heart in "Bed of Roses." Still, Slater's characters always seem to transform him into some kind of absurd, godly figure. A baboon heart? A delivery boy who looks in people's windows to find his dates? Enough said.

Lisa lacks the spunk that Mary Stuart Masterson has often added to movies such as "Some Kind of Wonderful" and "Fried Green Tomatoes." Here, she is nothing more than a bundle of nerves and an adorable face. It's no wonder that we can't piece together the cause of her overdone anxiety. True, she does have the characteristic conflict (and that's stretching it) upon which movies like this one thrive, but she also has some major compensation for it. Come on now -- her boyfriend buys out New York's entire stock of lavender roses. You would think that she could calm down just a little.