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Alarms and other surprises

Everyone hates alarm clocks. They make an awful, shrill, nerve-jangling noise. Their only purpose is to jolt us out of calm and peaceful slumbers. The sound of an alarm clock has no pleasant associations Ñ it means either ÒHa ha ha, itÕs 6:30 a.m. and pitch dark outside and you have to go fail high school calculus now;Ó or ÒHa ha ha, itÕs 7:15 a.m. and although you slept for only three hours, you have to go convince your French TA that you are bilingual enough to fulfill the foreign language proficiency requirement;Ó or, worse of all, ÒHa ha ha, you have ten minutes to make it to your Economics final exam.Ó Alarm clocks have a truly terrible sound.

Against my better judgment, I bought a new alarm clock last week. Because I am always getting ripped off on electronics purchases, the first thing I did when I got the Torture Device home was plug it in to check the alarm. I set the time and then the alarm to go off one minute later. Settling back to wait out that minute, I felt a little twinge of dread for the inevitable moment and prepared myself for the tone. The numbers flipped to mark the passing minute. The alarm sounded Ñ and I jumped. Jumped almost out of my skin.

Waiting for the alarm Ñ and even knowing itÕs coming Ñ does nothing to quell the shock. Anticipation and the surprise we feel in spite of ourselves affect us frequently. I remember a few years back, when a friendÕs grandfather died. He suffered from terminal cancer Ñ the family tried to console themselves with the inevitability of his death. They knew it would happen. But that didnÕt make it hurt any less. Another friend of mine just graduated from Notre Dame. She is moving to New York to start a new life with her fiance Ñ theyÕve been apart since he took a job there two years ago. She has anticipated this move for many long months, and now that itÕs imminent, she canÕt believe it. ÒItÕs weird,Ó she says. ÒWe can finally get on and off airplanes together.Ó

I anticipate certain inevitable events in my life, too, both joyful and tragic. I know that the anticipation will do nothing to dull the pain or the elation. I wouldnÕt want it to. That would be selling the experience short Ñ degrading it to a nice, comfortable, manageable level.

We have a strange relationship with the concept of experience. On one hand, we value it dearly on many levels. We must Ñ why else do we see the evolution of trends like ÒvintageÓ fashion? Why do people shell out $50 for a pair of used Levis at Urban Outfitters? They are paying for the time someone else spent in those Levis. On the other hand, we seem to fear experience so much that weÕll do anything possible to shield ourselves from it. We buy insurance for our cars, our homes, our lives. We take precautions: we educate ourselves in anticipation of careers; we exercise and diet to prepare our bodies for the effects of age.

But life is full of alarms, and they will surprise us no matter how much we expect, anticipate or fear them. The numbers will flip Ñ we will jump at the sound.

Ñ Erin Marsh can be reached over
e-mail at eemarsh@umich.edu.