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College with Kids

Running to class, studying at coffeehouses and drinking at fraternity parties, it is easy to forget that mingled in with "typical" undergraduates are students with an extra responsibility to juggle -- a child.

Many of these "non-traditional" students live in family housing on North Campus. They spend a majority of their time going to classes, working and raising another human being. These two factors mean other students have a slim chance of running into students with children while hanging out at the Michigan Union or the League.

These students face difficulties at the University inherent to their situations -- having children is difficult as a student or as a professional.

Despite their seemingly removed existence, these students are an equally integral part of the University community. What follows are three perspectives on life as a University undergrad and a single parent.

Jimie Blair

"You find yourself in a situation and you deal with it."

So says Jimie Blair, who will turn 40 years old in March. Blair is the single parent of a 12-year-old boy, Brittany. Blair has two children, but only has custody of Brittany.

Blair politely indulges questions about his life as a student and a parent, but when the subject of conversation is Brittany, Blair responds in the same proud voice of any other parent -- traditional or non-traditional. "I've had him for six years," Blair says. "He's in the sixth grade."

Blair has spent the majority of those six years as a student himself. "I started off as a psychology major, but I changed to general studies. I graduate in May."

Blair says he hopes to move to Seattle and find a job in social work and human services.

Blair attributes the majority of his success to the Single Parents Network, a support group for single parents. He has been the president of SPN for three years.

"The Single Parents Network was the reason I came back to school. I had just graduated from Washtenaw (Community) College, and I first worked at the School of Dentistry. ... They persuaded me to go back to school full time. When they first suggested it, I was like, 'No way!'"

Blair laughs at this as if it were the most ridiculous idea ever, and at the time, he says, it was.

"I had a child, and I had never considered going back full time. I never thought about sending in letters or applications."

Blair says SPN members encouraged him and gently pressured him at weekly meetings to apply to the University. "Finally, to keep from being embarrassed, I applied. And I got in.

"I wasn't aware what I was getting into when I did it."

Blair says his day starts at 6:15 or 6:30 a.m., when he wakes Brittany up for school. "Two days a week I leave without him at 7:30. The other days I leave at 8:30. My day goes till about 2 or 3 in the morning."

This sounds like any "traditional" student's day, but the hours that fill it are spent quite differently. "Brit goes to Tappan Middle School. He's in a couple of afternoon activities three days a week. He gets home at 4, and I'm always almost home at 4. I will always be home when he gets home.

"I'm not able to enjoy the luxuries that other students enjoy. I don't have much of a social life. It's not his fault ... but you make sacrifices. I don't leave him at home -- he's just 12."

Hiring a sitter or putting Brittany in after-hours childcare is not an option for Blair, so he takes Brittany with him to his evening classes.

The University does not offer any no-cost childcare options for students. Medical students may use University Hospitals childcare facilities. Other students may choose to enroll their children in any of several childcare facilities on and off campus.

Blair adds that he does not take Brittany to "social" classes, like seminar-type classes or group discussions. "I've had to try to schedule my classes around (taking care of Brittany). Brittany's probably far less of a latchkey kid since I've been in school."

Blair is quick to put his life in perspective. "It's a fine balance and I don't think any of us has the answers. ... It's not easy, I don't want to glororize it -- most of us that are in this understand that," he says. "Getting an education is not an easy climb at all."

Connie McMahan

Being a parent and a full-time student is harder than Connie McMahan anticipated.

"I had expected to find more of a support system," says McMahan, an LSA senior and mother of 8-year-old Joshua.

McMahan transferred to the University from a community college in Flint. "I knew no one from this area, so it was difficult at first."

While other students are studying at night, McMahan says she tries to be as involved as possible with her son's school activities. "Most Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays I study until (Joshua) needs to be picked up," she said. "In the evenings, like tonight, we have school functions, like ice skating and soccer."

McMahan's experiences with her son's school have not been limited to his activities. "Where my child goes to school, almost all of the parents are professors (at the University). I've actually had classes where the professor would have been one of my son's classmate's parents -- I specifically chose not to (take the classes), because I'm seen as an equal as a parent in my son's classroom. ... There've been two classes like that that I've missed so far."

Faculty have been supportive of McMahan, but she says she knows that is not always the case.

"I've been pleasantly surprised with the professors and TAs that I've had," she says. "I've heard horror stories from other parents, though, of (professors and TAs) who just had the attitude of `Well, you're here, too bad if you can't keep up.'"

McMahan says the biggest obstacle she has faced as a parent and student is caring for a sick child during normal class time. "I'm really particular about who I choose to watch my child. When I pick a baby-sitter I usually pick another parent," she says.

"It's very difficult when my son has a day off," McMahan continues. "I tell him, `Better get your Game Boy ready, because you're going to class with me.'"

Lisa Marie

Lisa Marie seems baffled about why anyone would be interested in her life. "My typical day is just, you know, getting up and getting my daughter up and then I go to work -- you know, the routine. It's nothing very different."

Marie is a senior in psychology and social anthropology, and, at age 29, she is the single parent of an 8-year-old girl. Although Marie works and attends classes full time, she does not use a sitter or childcare service.

"I've never had to utilize childcare because my daughter's older," Marie says. "I do have an anthro class in the evening and she comes with me. ... It's also enjoyable for her."

Marie says others have been supportive of her education. "I work at (the Center for the Education of Women) and my employer is really flexible and understands," she says. "My classes, I think because they're LSA, have been pretty flexible too, as far as homework and everything."

Marie is quick to note that her situation is not unique. "It's difficult for everyone. For full-time employees with children, there's a difficulty there, too. It differs for students, obviously, but it's still difficult to find the balance between schoolwork and child care and housework."

However, there is a significant difference between "working" parents and parents who are students. "We don't get to leave our work behind," Marie says. "We come home and we have work to do. Really, you never let it go. You carry it around with you in your backpack."

Regrets are not a part of Marie's life. "No way. The one thing I have to say is, it's hard, but it sets a good example for my daughter, that I'm going to college."