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Shaking the Tree

Matching your belief system to your practice of those beliefs

By Katie Hutchins

Because college is a major identity-forming stage, religious turmoil is pretty likely to occur. If you disagree with me, tell that to the Moonies, the Scientologists, The Way International and several other non-mainstream religions that actively try to recruit kids on college campuses.

Tell that to the commune that tried to recruit me at a Grateful Dead show with peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and the promise of long, fun and enlightened hours riding in a camper with 20 of my closest friends.

Tell that to the valid and valuable psychic hotlines and the people who offer to read palms, Tarot cards and past lives on campuses across the country. Tell that to all the people walking around with "Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance" or "The Tao of Pooh" who now consider themselves experts on far-Eastern philosophies.

We no longer embrace these theories without skepticism. The negativity associated with hippies and beatniks seeking an enlightened view of the world has scared many from looking into the beyond.

Perhaps this is why the Church of Scientology has retreated somewhat from its religious image in favor of a more scientific base. No longer does it tell you that you were once a thetan, a god-like creature with telekinetic and telepathic powers, unhindered by human flaws, such as the common cold and less imperfect vision.

Rather, the church focuses on self-help, improvement of work and study habits, seminars, books, tapes and programs that make you live a better life. Ever see the "Dianetics" flyers in virtually every University building and coffee shop? That's the work of the Scientologists, praising the teachings of L. Ron Hubbard and urging you to buy the book. Never mind the guy once said the best way to make a lot of money is to start your own religion.

It often recruits people with a free "personality test," a survey consisting of questions about your life and social relationships that -- not surprisingly -- seem also to ask how easily you'll be brainwashed. (E.g. Do you like to follow the crowd or form your own path?).

As the dutiful rebellious Catholic, I took the Scientologists up on the offer and was told via line graph that there are significant flaws in two aspects of my personality. I later learned that everyone is told they have flaws. And the best way to get rid of these and become god-like is to shell out a lot of money to get better.

I was told that psychology was being phased out -- which kind of bummed me out because I was planning to major in psychology -- and that this new, enlightened science was more able to help people out.

The money is spent on auditing sessions, in which you get hooked up to an E-meter (a crude lie detector) and are put into a trance so you can go back to childhood memories and get rid of your personality flaws. These sessions are meant to cure you of your engrams, which are the consequence of the evildoings by the galactic emperor Xenu, who is now banished to some mountaintop somewhere.

It all makes a lot of sense, considering Hubbard is an accomplished science fiction writer. But what doesn't make sense is that our favorite idols we obviously wish to emulate -- John Travolta, Nicole Kidman, Kirstie Alley and Tom Cruise -- are ardent Scientologists.

But not everyone believes in Xenu's evil powers. Some like to concentrate on Tarot cards and past lives. So not only have I been told I used to be a god-like creature, but I also used to be a waitress in Ireland who died during childbirth.

I'm not saying Xenu, Tarot powers and palm reading are invalid. They might have some merit. But -- just as those neo- Zen Buddhists who read hip books and know nothing about the true nature of the philosophy -- many of the followers are unaware of the basic tenets behind them.

Consider Eye of the Spiral, a student group on campus that met to discuss the wiccan religion and occasionally perform rituals. Many of the attendees didn't believe there is really a moon goddess, Pan or spirits of the East, but they found themselves praising these people anyway.

Before we bounce back to our mainstream roots -- as many do after graduating and not having time for self-exploration anymore -- we should be a little more careful about coordinating what we practice and what we believe.

-- Katie Hutchins can be reached over e-mail at katieh@umich.edu.