Not all emotions are comfortable. But sometimes it takes a moment of discomfort to get people talking.
Art senior Ryan LaLonde said the first time he brought his family to a meeting of Parents, Families and Friends of Lesbians and Gays "was extremely strange."
"Sexual orientation has never been anything I've talked about with my family," LaLonde said.
But after the meeting he said he was able to talk with his family about his sexuality as he never had before. His brother Scott said the experience brought them closer.
"It was hard watching (people) cry and go through so many strong emotions," Scott LaLonde said. "But afterwards I felt a lot better."
PFLAG is a non-profit organization that brings lesbians and gays together with their families and friends to create a system of support and advocate civil rights. It has chapters in 12 countries and 400 chapters nationwide.
The Ann Arbor PFLAG chapter was founded in 1982. Chapter President Bob Edwards said the group has about 90 members and is "probably the largest per capita" chapter in the country.
The Ann Arbor chapter was founded in part by parents of gay children looking for support and for information about their loved ones' sexuality.
"When my son came out, I had little knowledge on homosexuality and I wanted to learn and to talk to other parents," said Joyce Kerr, who helped found the local chapter. "We had all felt that same need at the beginning for a support group."
Founders also included Jim Toy and Laura Sanders, who were coordinators of the Lesbian Gay Programs Office in the '70s. Bisexual was added to the title later.
Toy said his involvement with creating a PFLAG chapter began out of ideas expressed in a youth support group he began through the Gay Liberation Front in the late '70s.
"It became clear almost immediately that students there felt their parents would benefit from there being organized here a support group for parents and friends," Toy said.
Edwards said the group creates an atmosphere of support by allowing lesbians, gays, their families and friends to share their own experiences with each other.
"Attending a PFLAG meeting gives people the opportunity to meet other lesbians and gays (and hear about) their experiences coming out," Edwards said. "(It gives) parents the opportunity of talking to other parents and ... to ask questions about what it's like to be lesbians or gays."
The organization holds meetings on the third Sunday of every month at the First Unitarian Universalist Church on Washtenaw Avenue.
Edwards said the meetings start with a general group discussion about issues concerning lesbians and gays, then the group breaks up into smaller groups where members discuss intimately their personal experiences.
Scott LaLonde said he appreciated his experiences at the PFLAG meeting.
"It was nice to see people with a common bond, getting together, discussing issues and helping each other out," LaLonde said.
In addition to the monthly meetings, Edwards said PFLAG of Ann Arbor also holds a walkathon, an annual dinner dance, an annual picnic and several dances throughout the year. He said the group also sponsors speakers and workshops on lesbian/gay/bisexual issues to promote civil rights and educate.
"There's a lot of things we do to make sure that we're visible," Edwards said.
PFLAG also holds an annual conference of the nation's PFLAG chapters. Edwards said about 2,000 people attended this year's conference in Washington, D.C., from Oct. 11-14. He said the Ann Arbor chapter was the largest in attendance.
In addition, the Ann Arbor PFLAG awards two $500 scholarships to students at the University and Eastern Michigan University. The scholarships are given to students active in the lesbian/gay/bisexual community.
Ryan LaLonde received one scholarship this year along with Suzanne Kelsey of EMU. LaLonde said he was grateful for the award, and his brother said he was pleased to see him succeed.
"It was tough (for him) to go through high school and it's nice to see him achieving everything he wanted to," LaLonde said.
Toy said the Ann Arbor PFLAG often works with University organizations such as LGBPO and community groups like the Washtenaw Lesbian Gay Bisexual Trans-Gendered Community Council.
"They liaison and do cooperative things from time to time (as well as) share information and support each other," Toy said.
Edwards said PFLAG has a responsibility to work with University groups.
"We really feel part of the community and we want to assist any way we can," Edwards said.
Toy said the Ann Arbor chapter is doing a good job.
"They are a necessary and extremely helpful group," Toy said. "(The chapter) has been doing consistently good work."
In addition to being one of the 15 largest chapters of PFLAG in the country, Edwards said the Ann Arbor PFLAG is one of the most active "because of the type of city that we live in."
Edwards said one of the best things about the chapter is the existence of a large number of friends that get involved in addition to the families. As a friend of lesbians and gays himself, he said friends are an important source of support because they may be listened to when lesbian/gay/bisexuals and their families aren't.
"We need to have a connection between the heterosexual and homosexual community in order to obtain civil rights and social justice," Edwards said.