There may be plenty of elbow room at the polls Tuesday. The 1996 presidential race between President Clinton and Bob Dole is as devoid of real drama and as full of blasé predictability as a Danielle Steele novel.
Let's face it. Dole's chances couldn't be worse if he suddenly revealed that he secretly egged Kruschev into instigating the 1962 Cuban missile crisis.
In the campaign's final days, Bob Dole's campaign has grown nastier and tougher. The attacks on Clinton are coming more and more frequently; unfortunately, Dole's attacks are getting more and more incoherent. Example:
"Bob Dole knows you, Mr. President. I know you and you have a wife. I know the White House and John Belushi lives there! You killed Mickey Mouse! 'Pulp Fiction,' I'll give you 'Pulp Fiction!' Bob Dole for principal!"
Dole's recent slip into negativity has made the Dole-Kemp ticket seem insulting to American intelligence. Dole and Kemp both have literally scolded the voters for not supporting the GOP ticket. They have scolded Ross Perot for staying in the race. They have scolded the media, Hollywood, other Republicans. If they somehow miraculously win this thing, many of us Americans will likely have to take a "time-out" in the corner for our bad behavior.
But Dole's woes stem from a much simpler issue, an issue that began many months ago: Simply put, Dole has failed to convince the nation that it needs a new president. And that's the role of the challenger - to make the citizens believe that if they do not oust the incumbent, the state of the union will rapidly sour.
On the other hand, Clinton has convinced the voters that his crime package, welfare reform laws and educational programs have helped the nation move forward. These programs also assured those who are wary "liberals" (now there's a real scary Halloween costume) that Clinton is a moderate president. Clinton has managed to come across as the candidate whose concern with Social Security and Medicare reform is legitimate. And his stances on urban renewal, affirmative action, the environment and the Family and Medical Leave Act make him the only choice for any moderate who leans to the left.
These are the issues Clinton has stressed in his wonderfully run campaign, and these are the issues that will make him the choice of a number of voters. But even so, there are four issues, albeit pointless issues, that will give Bob Dole some votes.
1. Character
As expected, some GOPs believe Clinton is a drug-dealing, draft-dodging, Communist-hugging radical pig. They bring up an administration plagued by scandals, a marriage that has had its share of troubles, a failure to serve in Vietnam, an admission that he tried pot once. Here's why these charges don't hold much water with many people:
A. Dole himself worked closely with the Nixon and Reagan White Houses. Can you say "scandals galore," America? I knew you could.
B. Bob Dole is on his second marriage. His first wife called him a workaholic who was an absentee father and husband. Mysteriously, when he left his wife and daughter, Dole was spending a lot of time with his administrative assistant named Liddy.
C. True, Bob Dole's a war hero. How couldn't we know that by now? But his football-playing running mate Jack Kemp managed to dodge the Korean War draft. He had a bad shoulder. He then went on to use that shoulder to have a career as a professional football quarterback.
D. Boy, if everyone who smoked weed once or twice in the '60s lost their jobs, maybe some of us soon-to-be graduates could get jobs. Besides, don't tell me Dole never had an illegal sip of moonshine while growing up in Russell, Kan.
2. Abortion
So many voters cast their vote on the basis of this issue, it's frightening. It seems more of a personal moral issue that a national political issue to me. But Bob Dole will get the votes of staunch anti-abortion activists. Still, many American voters cringe at the idea of a constitutional amendment banning the procedure. In this country, people don't want women who get raped or face death during childbirth to lose their choice. Clinton understands that this is an imperfect society, and while abortion is part of the society it is not the problem, but a symptom of larger problems. By making abortions unsafe and illegal, nothing will be resolved.
3. Taxes
Dole is courting the middle-class-emerging-businesspersons vote with his 15 percent across-the-board tax cut, which he says he will implement without raising the federal deficit. Now, we all have heard Clinton say 500 economists, including seven Nobel Prize winners, say the plan is impossible. Heck, a lot of Republicans admit the plan is impossible. The plan simply hasn't sold, and since Dole has made it his main plank; that's a problem.
4. Hillary
Republicans hate her. Just hate her. What a stupid issue. Men who are afraid of independent women are well, really lame.
The University is an isolated and unrepresentative part of the world. So while Republicans on this campus may vote based on more major issues, Republicans across the nation seem to be focusing on the four issues mentioned above. That's not enough to dethrone Clinton, and it likely won't be enough to keep congressional Democrats from riding his coattails back to a majority on Capitol Hill.
I already have my champagne on ice.
- The opinions of Dean Bakopoulos are not representative of those of The Michigan Daily. He can be reached via e-mail at deanc@umich.edu.