Last April, I lambasted former Daily Editor in Chief and Weekend, etc. columnist Mike Rosenberg for his tendency to bluster and blather on with sentimental wish-wash about graduating and being a senior.
This April, I fear I've caught the disease of college newspaper columnists around the country: "The Oh-no-I-have-one-month-left-of-school-and-am-getting-inexplicably-sentimental-about my-days-as-a-Wolverine (or other favorite mascot)-syndrome."
Indeed, I have the disease, despite wanting to flee Ann Arbor at the first hint of May. And so, without further adieu, I present a senior drinking song, a toasting tune for all seniors making their way into the world outside Ann Arbor, bachelor's degree firmly in hand. (Lyrics here are, of course, personalized; feel free to add your own lyrics and sing while standing on the table of your favorite watering hole.)
And now, with April here,
I find I face, graduation.
My friends, let's have some beers,
and forget all about, moderation.
I've studied, for these four years,
subjects from Dinosaurs, on to Dante - and more, much more than this,
I've got my B.A.
Verse Two:
Regrets, like The Michigan Review,
a place I worked, but don't wish to mention;
Or weekends, when I puked on my shoes,
under the guise of "relieving tension."
To think, I did all that,
and may I say, outfoxed my R.A.-
but more, much more than this,
I've got my B.A.
(Bridge)
Yeah, there were some folks,
at The Michigan Review,
who attacked me, with neo-conservative goo ...
And death threats came
from the College G-O-P
when I erased their writings with a stream o' pee!
But let my columns show,
how much campus conservatives blow,
because I still got my B.A.!
Verse 3:
I have, 122 credits,
I've taken care of all my business.
And now as this beer subsides,
I see I spent my dough on pints o' Guiness.
To think, I'm so in debt,
I have no job,
I'm just a poor slop,
But so, oh what the hell, I've got my B.A.!
(Bridge 2:)
Because what's a degree?
And what is it not?
In corporate America,
liberal arts are worth snot.
Because the way, most business folks feel,
Writing and reading books, just isn't real
But my LSA record shows,
I took the blows,
and still got my B.A.!
Dean may be reached via e-mail at deanc@umich.edu.