Best of Film

Disaster movies prove disasterous; Michigan Theater is best local theater

Best Theater:
The Michigan Theater

Best Local Event:
Jeff Daniels' Benefit "101 Dalmations" Premiere

Best Films No One Saw (tie):
"Secrets & Lies"; "Lone Star"

Worst Film Everyone Saw:
"Twister"

Best On-Screen Duo:
Vince Vaughn and Jon Favreau in "Swingers"

Films That Needn't Change Their Titles In Order To Become Porn Movies:
"love jones"; "The Rock" and "Larger Than Life"

Best Use Of Sweat in a Motion Picture (tie):
"Mission Impossible"; "A Time To Kill"

Best Use Of Flatulence in a Motion Picture:
"The Nutty Professor"

Best Made-For-TV Movie:
"Selena"

Worst Drive-In Movie:
"Crash"

The Honorary Dan Aykroyd "You've-Put- On-A-Few-Pounds" Award:
Marlon Brando - again - in "The Island of Dr. Moreau"

Best Advertisement for Scientology:
"Phenomenon"

Most Overused Catchphrase:
Do we even need to say it? "Show me the money."

Best New Slang (tie):
"Fuggetabowdit" from "Donnie Brasco"; "You're so money" from "Swingers"

Most Unwelcome Film Trend:
Visible erections in "Flirting With Disaster" and "2 Days In The Valley"

Whatever Happened To?
Kevin Spacey's "Albino Alligator" and Adrian Lyne's "Lolita"

Best Chick Flick:
"Jerry Maguire"

Best Guy Film:
"Jerry Maguire"

Movie Most Likely To Be Digitally Remastered and Re-released In 20 Years:
The "Star Wars" Trilogy - This time they really mean it's special.

Biggest Disaster of a Disaster Film:
"Dante's Peak"

The Trailer-Was-Better-Than-The-Movie Award:
"Twister" or "Mission Impossible"

Most Overrated Film:
"Shine"

Most Underrated Film:
"Scream"

Year's Best Movie Quotes:

  • "Keep your poor-boy dick outta my daughters!" - Will Patton in "Inventing The Abbotts"

  • "Hallelujah! We are porn again." - Courtney Love in "The People vs. Larry Flynt"

  • "For all the good they did me, I shoulda stuck 'em up my arse!" - Ewan McGregor on ineffectual heroin suppositories in "Trainspotting"

  • "I like dem french fried pertaters. Mm hmm." - Billy Bob Thornton in "Sling Blade"

  • "I should never have encouraged you to speak." - Lauren Bacall in "The Mirror Has Two Faces"

  • "The only thing I'm guilty of is bad taste." - Woody Harrelson in "The People vs. Larry Flynt"

  • "You've never seen me very upset." - Tom Cruise in "Mission Impossible"

  • "You had me at 'Hello.'" - Renee Zellweger in "Jerry Maguire"

  • "Selling sin is easy." - E.G. Marshall in "Absolute Power"

  • "I hate you and your ass-face" - Christopher Guest in "Waiting For Guffman"

  • "You've no cause to get snippy with me, Mr. Lundegaard." - Frances McDormand in "Fargo"


    Nia Long and Larenz Tate star in "love jones," a film with a porn-esque title.

    04-17-97

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