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Jack Schillaci
Jack in |
A couple years ago, the University tried to create a student ID that would make students' lives easier and provide them with access to several University services. Instead, however, they made the Mcard.
In the next two months, the Class of '01 (along with members of '02 and '03) will descend onto East Quad for three days that are supposed to orient them to the college environment. Right before stepping through the Cooley fountain and having orientation leaders show them where the Diag is supposed to be, all of the disoriented will wait in a line - and a long line at that - to get their Mcard.
They'll be told what a great thing the Mcard is. It's an ATM card, meal card, security card, phone card, vending machine card, library card, cash-chip card and student ID all rolled into one little 3-inch-by-2-inch piece of plastic. Wowee!
Just don't expect all of those lovely features to work at the same time - or at all, for that matter.
The University sends out pamphlets by the dozen to every student to make sure they know how to take full advantage of this wonderful machination. In bright, shining colors, the Mcard is pushed on everyone by Mcard posterboy Theodore M. Cardman's face plastered on buses and street banners. The University has lists of area merchants where students can put their card to use - supposedly making everyone's life a whole lot easier.
Last week, I saw two students try to use their Mcards at Meijer, insisting that "you can use the Mcard anywhere." The cashier gave them a dirty look and told them she'd never heard of it before. So much for being able to use it everywhere.
The reality is that their are few places beside bookstores and a few fast-food restaurants that accept the Mcard. And if students do manage to stumble upon a store that will accept the University's hunk of plastic, chances are some rude, five-dollar-an-hour cashier won't know how to work the Mcard's validation machine anyway.
In creating the Mcard, the University all but endorsed First of America Bank as where students should put their money. First of America's checking accounts are plagued by expensive per-use fees and boring checks with "Mcard Program" printed on them like a big sign that says, "I'm a student and I bought into what the University fed me."
I think I'll move my money to a bank where I can get some checks with little sailboats on them, thanks.
The Mcard's cash chip is designed to be used at vending machines to prevent you from having to carry cash. However, its lopsided logic dictates that you have to feed cash into a machine to get money on the chip in the first place.
Of course, the Mcard is also the University's official student ID. After all, first-year students need it to get into frat parties - a mixed blessing at best.
Once, some drunken, unevenly-goateed frat boy said "That's not you," to me upon gazing at the half rubbed-out picture on my card. Yeah, I stole someone's Mcard so I could dance to techno crap and drink cheap beer. For my next trick, I think I'll write a thank-you letter about the utter speed and efficiency of the U.S. Postal Service.
If the University wants to make a student ID, it should do that. However, it should not use it as a foray into the banking world or waste thousands of dollars pushing it onto the student population.
- Jack Schillaci can be reached over e-mail at jschilla@umich.edu.