Fidel Castro and the CIA really wrote this column

Joshua Rich Trivial Pursuits

Thirty-four years ago today a strange nightclub owner named Jack Ruby gunned down an even stranger assassin named Lee Harvey Oswald in an underground parking lot in Dallas, Texas. Millions of Americans witnessed the event on live television, and in an instant the nation, already at once shocked and captivated by the sudden death of President John F. Kennedy, was transformed into a suspicious lot. America became a place where citizens would sooner second-guess their politicians, bureaucrats and journalists than accept the truth.

But let's get a few things clear. Lee Harvey Oswald killed John Kennedy. Not the CIA. Not Fidel Castro. Not Oliver Stone. Oswald was a deranged Communist sympathizer, an angry citizen who had already considered offing numerous public figures. He hated Kennedy, and his anger manifested itself in his homicidal behavior.

Unfortunately, Ruby murdered Oswald before any trial took place. The plot thickened; the "truth" was pushed by the wayside in lieu of more thrilling spook stories.

Ever since, many Americans have been unable to believe, well, anything. A plane crashes: it must be a conspiracy - some Long Islander with a shoulder rocket launcher must have destroyed it. A British princess dies in an automobile accident: there must have been another car involved. A presidential aide commits suicide: he must have been knee-deep in some sort of shady espionage.

It has become common in our society to (unnecessarily) question everything that occurs. Despite the number of electronic media outlets that sprout hourly, Americans have become increasingly alienated from politics, unaware of the basic news of the day and generally disinterested in the world beyond their DVD players and PowerMacs. The public still seeks involvement in this external world, but its participation and level of understanding has deteriorated so much that it needs to turn every true, real-life story into a movie plot in order to find it acceptable.

Something as extraordinary and inconceivable as the assassination of a president has to have an equally astounding explanation. It is more romantic to believe that the CIA in team with Fidel Castro and the Mafia conspired to kill Kennedy, as opposed to little Lee Harvey Oswald who was, simply, a crazy, homicidal Communist.

(And why does there always have to be a reason for everything? The best explanation I ever heard for John Kennedy's assassination is that Lee Harvey Oswald did it alone - because there is no better evidence to refute the only feasible theory about the event.)

Nonetheless, TV shows like "The X-Files," movies like "Conspiracy Theory" and books like Jim Garrison's "On the Trail of the Assassins" constantly point the finger at so-called conspiracies. Americans are spoiled by these things, and we are led to automatically believe the absurd: if aliens didn't land in Roswell, N.M. - as we know they did - then the still-living Tupac Shakur must be the only remaining resident of Nevada's mysterious Area 51.

Lest we forget that some true conspiracies have in fact occurred in history. Julius Caesar was assassinated by some of his closest personal and political cronies. Less well-known is the conspiracy that cost President Abraham Lincoln his life (John Wilkes Booth committed the actual crime, but three others were hanged for their participation). As I write, Terry Nichols is on trial for helping Timothy McVeigh blow up the federal building in Oklahoma City.

We are so busy crying wolf that truly frightening instances like these regularly pass us by. What's worse, our seemingly harmless suspicion winds up producing little concrete evidence, as it more gravely disrespects the memories of tragic figures like Marilyn Monroe, Elvis Presley, Vincent Foster and Biggie Smalls. How offensive that Saturday's news reports marking the anniversary of Kennedy's death were primarily concerned with shady conspiracy theories, rather than the damage that the event inflicted on our national psyche!

According to legend, even The Michigan Daily is at fault in perpetuating this public paranoia. On Oct. 14, 1969, this newspaper reported - as a joke - that Beatles' bassist Paul McCartney had died, and clues found on the cover of "Abbey Road" suggested that an accomplice of the secretive rock band was impersonating him. Theories about the ubiquitous musician's false death continue to this day.

The Michigan Daily was the first organization to report this "fact." At least, that's what I hear.

- Joshua Rich can be reached over e-mail at jmrich@umich.edu

11-24-97