The surf is up at top-notch Web sites

By Anitha Chalam
Daily Arts Writer

The World Wide Web.

It's the most high-tech way to put off your homework for another day. Though some sites have age or password restrictions, security, for a seasoned surfer, is rather low-key. So those willing to buy and lie, or even those who aren't, will discover that the information superhighway is one great, neverending Autobahn.

As an experienced surfer, I have seen the best, as well as the worst, of the Web. It is a pretty big virtual world out there, and if you don't know your way around, you could get lost. Since I hang 10 with the best of them, allow me to give you a virtual tour.

We'll go category by category, for the sake of simplicity, and I'll mention special sites worth visiting. For your convenience, I'll even rate them on the Anitha Scale of Webliness, or ASoW for short (1 = not cool, 10 = radical, dude!). So keep your feet on the boogieboard and get ready to surf!

Since this is college, it seems most logical to begin with that hallmark of collegiate life, alcohol. For the secrets of running your own dorm-room bar and more, I recommend The Virtual Bar (www.TheVirtualBar.com, ASoW: 9.4). The Virtual Bar has close to 3,000 mixed-drink recipes on file, as well as hangover remedies, drinking games and a recipe retriever, wherein you can check off all of the alcohol you have in your room, and the retriever prints up a list of every drink that you can make using only those ingredients.

Second perhaps only to alcohol, sex is also an important part of student life. Though most would find online sex a little pathetic, it's there for a reason. I'm no expert in this particular niche of the net, but my research has led me to www.girlsgirlsgirls.com, and the corresponding site at www.boysboysboys.com (both ASoW: 6.9). Sites like these tend to rate low on the ASoW, since they generally require subscriptions to see everything, which isn't a good deal for the stingy-minded college student (who needs that money to buy alcohol). Also important are pages like Condom Sense (www.webcom.com/~condomz/infolnk2.html, ASoW: 7.3), which are chock-full of vital information about AIDS and other diseases.

Since most surfing is done to avoid studying, game pages are very popular. The best game I have ever seen is "Find the Spam" (www.smalltime.com/nowhere/findthespam, ASoW: 11), which cannot go untried by anyone.

So-called "purity tests" (www.armory.com/tests/purity.html, ASoW: 9.1) are also pretty popular. It is fun to watch your ratings go down as the years pass by. Because Web programming is pretty simple, games like these don't take too long to play, which is nice. A quick game of One Arm Bandit (aa.mlive.com/funhouse/index.html, ASoW: 9.7) allows you to practice for those weekend trips to Windsor while taking a quick break from that pesky term paper. Life doesn't get much better than that.

Shopping is another entertaining pastime. Since many students lack cars, and since many of those same students understandably fear public transportation, trips to the mall are rare. Furthermore, it is especially inconvenient that the hours of leisure most common to students occur between the hours of 10 p.m. and 3 a.m., when malls are closed. Therefore, online shopping is pretty convenient. Sites are open 24 hours a day, and you can charge directly to your parents' credit cards to save everyone time. Catalog shopping is probably easiest, and for that, I suggest The Catalog Site, home to hundreds of online catalogs, from J. Crew to Deja Vu (www.catalogsite.com, ASoW: 8.5). But of course, most of the bigger stores and clothing manufactures also maintain their own sites (generally at www.nameofcompany.com) and fickle shoppers can go directly there.

Of course, surfing the web doesn't always have to be mindless entertainment. You can easily combine entertainment with education, or at least con yourself into believing that, by visiting The Electronic Newsstand (www.enews.com, ASoW: 9.1) and reading an online magazine or two.

In addition, search engines such as Yahoo (www.yahoo.com, ASoW: 8) allow the savvy surfer to look up anything his or her heart desires, from naval piercing to the Bolshevik Revolution. It's the best way of writing a research paper without ending up in the spooky sub-basements of the Grad, and as a veteran of this method, I highly recommend it.

If you are in love with the Web like I am, note that you can make your own little piece of the web. Personal homepages are fun and easy to make, and the unwritten rule is: The tackier, the better. Directions can be found at www.umich.edu/how-to-homepage.html (ASoW: 7.6). Warning: Working on your homepage is time-consuming, and takes procrastination to a whole new level.

So I hope you've enjoyed my tour, as I conclude with the best of all possible web sites, The Michigan Daily Online (www.pub.umich.edu/daily/, ASoW: 10++, since I'm getting paid to write this).

As you can see, fooling around on the net is pretty cool. You'll laugh, you'll cry, it's better than "Cats!"

Happy surfing, everyone!

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09-03-97