10. Make sure old football helmet fits.
9. Hold annual Ed Martin Bake Sale to raise money for athletic transportation, entertainment and recruiting.
8. Promote men's soccer and water polo to varsity status.
7. Like Joe Roberson, consult with Joe Paterno and people you have a great respect for before making any important personnel decisions.
6. Give ALL students football tickets - even if the high-paying, quiet-voiced general public loses seats.
5. Wear helmet while running naked mile.
4. Ban cappuccino from Michigan Stadium and Crisler Arena. Replace it with dollar pitchers.
3. Hold "We Love Lloyd" pep rally to go along with "We Believe in Steve" rally. Wear helmet.
2. Wear helmet while bashing head against desk after another 8-4 football season. If 7-5, wear full pads.
1. Quit, before it's too late. Take helmet home.
09-08-97
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