Self-important officials regulate 'U' events beyond reason

Erin Marsh Thinking of 'u'

It's not all that unusual for University students to come away from the college experience with a few minor brushes with the law - noise violations, parking tickets and the like. However, it seems that more and more of the things we do here are becoming sanctioned events.

Take, for instance, a Michigan football game.

Walking to Michigan Stadium on a football Saturday is like strolling through a strange kind of marketplace. Vendors hawk T-shirts, hot dogs and sodas, students try to lure drivers onto their front yards for a cramped $10 parking spot, and scores of people are either trying to buy or sell tickets for the game. Great fun, right? It's a spectacle, and haggling deals for parking and tickets used to be one of the best parts of the day.

Now, anyone walking down the street with tickets in their hand is subject to being stopped and threatened by an Ann Arbor police officer. Apparently, holding a couple of tickets is a crime - it implies intent to sell (which is illegal on University property unless you have a license). That's funny - I thought the only thing it implies is that you don't have any pockets. You don't have to be waving the tickets around, you don't have to holler, "I got one, who needs one?" All you have to do is have the tickets in the open, and some law enforcement official can decide you're trying to sell them. I talked to one student who was slapped with a $50 fine.

But beyond the subjectiveness of the "crime," who really cares if someone is selling a ticket? If it's my ticket, I paid for it, and I want to get back only what I paid for it, who cares if I conduct a private transaction? I understand the problem of counterfeit tickets, but that's why we have phrases like "let the buyer beware." It's a simple exchange of property, and as long as you're not trying to gouge someone and make a huge profit, there's no reason for University and city officers to have such a heart attack about it.

The fun continues once you get into Michigan Stadium. Anyone who attended one of our first two games could probably tell you that things are different in the student section this year. Those little men in the yellow "Athletic Department Staff" jackets are not so friendly any more. They bark orders at students filing into their sections, physically blocking the entrance until everyone shows them a ticket. OK - they are trying to control seating and keep kids from sneaking into the wrong section. Fine. I respect that. But I have never heard anyone so rude and mean-spirited at what is supposed to be an enjoyable event. None of these kids deserve the browbeating they take for standing a few rows away from the number designated on their ticket.

People could, of course, avoid this whole scenario by biting the bullet and sitting (standing) in their assigned seats. But that still doesn't justify the rotten attitude of these athletic department bouncers.

I asked one of them about the big "crackdown," and I received this response: Apparently last year, they failed to help one kid find his seat. Turns out Daddy was a big-time contributor to the athletic department and held a $250,000 grudge. So now you see: Damn if the athletic department is going to let that happen again! No matter what, they're going to make sure they get theirs from all those beautifully wealthy alumni. You'd think with all the money the department rakes in in a year, it could take a breather to treat students like human beings or - and here's a wacky idea - let freshmen attend the football games. Apparently not.

(A brief aside: University President Lee Bollinger and new Athletic Director Tom Goss - neither of whom have had anything to do with the lousy things the department has done lately - have been inviting ticketless first-year students to sit in their boxes during the game. Goss and Bollinger don't have to do it, but they want to. I think that's one of the neatest things I've ever heard.)

After the game this week, I was thinking about all of the fun post-game things I used to do as a kid - I remember waiting outside the lockerroom for autographs from my favorite players: Jim Harbaugh, John Kolesar, John Elliot, Jamie Morris.

Now there's a line of barricades that keeps little kids away from the players.

I really don't have a problem with authority. Following the rules is the best way to go, as long as the rules have a purpose and are just. In keeping with the "rules," lots of forces have joined to make football Saturdays tidier, cleaner, more orderly, and legal to the letter.

In this case, they are taking some of the fun out of it.

- Erin Marsh can be reached over e-mail at eemarsh@umich.edu

09-22-97