Daily music staff shares the lowdown on the best venues, shows and bands

The Magic Stick

Conveniently located upstairs from the Majestic in Ferndale, The Magic Stick is a small venue with big-time versatility. The concertgoer can find bowling lanes, a lovely bar and, most importantly, a rather good-sized stage. Throw in The Majestic, and you've got double the bowling-alley fun, an additional restaurant and another superb place to experience live music. Never- mind the pool tables (or the low-lifes that seem to be glued to them), but do make sure you get there early - space goes fast.

Worst Venue Staff:

St. Andrew's Hall/Clutch Cargo's (tie)

Not only do these Neanderthal bouncers have no idea how to properly contain large crowds, they also smell like landfills and are only able to communicate via a strange hybrid of grunting-meets-gargling, which is never pleasant to endure, much less while waiting in a line of hundreds to get into a show. Even if prior arrangements for tickets or inclusion on guest lists have been made with the record company, anything and everything will most likely go wrong at both of these concert halls, simply because both staffs are mind-blowingly incompetent and non-user-friendly. Unless the headliner is well worth your time and effort, you might as well skip the hassle and rent "This Is Spinal Tap" instead. You'll have a much better time. Clutch Cargo's is in Pontiac, St. Andrew's in Detroit.

Best Live Encore:

Morrissey: "Paint A Vulgar Picture"/"Shoplifters of the World Unite"

Returning live to the United States for the first time in more than six years, Morrissey delivered nothing short of a hysteria-drenched religious experience at Hill Auditorium this past September. The unexpected inclusion of both of these Smiths songs as encores was as thrilling as it was sublime, partially because Moz sang both songs in, of all things, a Michigan swimming T-shirt. Legendary.

Cheapest Place to Catch a Local Show:

Michigan League Underground

Even though this place is basically just a corner of a cafeteria, the music's usually not too bad and more times than not, it's free too. Don't expect any pop stars to grace the "stage," but do look forward to a cheap evening of good clean music.

Most Disappointing Concert:

Adam Sandler, Hill Auditorium

He only played for approximately 50 minutes to a rather anxious sold-out crowd. It was bad enough that Sandler was noticeably intoxicated before during and after the show, but he was so off his head that not even "The Hanukkah Song" retained one ounce of genuine humor. Stick with the movies, buddy. Disappointing, indeed.

BEST OF ANN ARBOR 1998| Best Concert:

Various

As it is virtually impossible to select only one best concert, we shall instead list a few exceptional highlights. Such moments of raw splendor included: The Verve at St. Andrew's, Morrissey at Hill Auditorium, Roni Size at St. Andrew's, Catherine Wheel at Clutch Cargo's and The Pietasters at St. Andrew's. Now that's versatility.

Worst Concert:

Third Eye Blind and Smash Mouth at The State Theater

We didn't even need to send a reporter into the maelstrom of teenybopper melodrama to find out how bad they are. Comfortable with its love-to-hate-'em niche in the current world of rock, Third Eye Blind won't need to get continuously booed off the stage too many more times before the thought of group suicide kicks in. We should only be so lucky.

Sexiest Man Interviewed by the Daily:

Usher

Known for his provocative performances and sexy lyrics, singer Usher Raymond seems to know exactly what the ladies want. His ability to keep his fans satisfied is what has helped make him one of the hottest entertainers in the music industry today. The fact that he likes to drop his pants on stage doesn't hurt either.

Hottest Chick Interviewed by the Daily:

Dominique Durand of Ivy

Even though her band isn't as universally popular as it should be, Durand certainly has the voice to allure virtually anyone. Less promiscuous than Madonna, more talented than Natalie Imbruglia, Durand knows just how to tease, torment and tantalize until you're on the floor begging for more. Did I mention she's French?

Best Local Band:

The Articles

Hailing from Detroit, this instumental ska outfit isn't just the best local band, it's the best band in the world. The Articles have played everywhere from Cafe Zola to the Majestic, with equal success at each and every venue. To top it off, they've only released one album, "Flip F'real," on Moon Ska NYC - not bad for an up-and-coming band.

- Compiled by Daily Music Editor Brian Cohen.

04-16-98