Minor 'Major' lands in foul territory

For example, the scene where Buzz manager Gus Cantrell (Scott Bakula) asks God to send him some real players or strike him dead, only to be struck in the head by a baseball is guaranteed to leave you in stitches. If this doesn't do it for you, prepare to bend over in sheer laughter when an angry coach throws a ball against a wall only to have it hit him in the head! Hilarious stuff. Seriously, this is supposed to be a comedy, but I don't know anyone over the age of five who would crack a smile

Courtesy of Warner Bros. The men of "Major League: Back to the Minors" give our beloved boys of summer a bad name.

through the entire movie.

The flick's setup is simple and familiar: fill a clubhouse with eccentric personalities, make the team really awful, and add one player/coach seeking their last shot at greatness. Then make the players squabble and bicker before pulling it all together for a late run at the pennant.

In the story, Roger Dorn (Corbin Bernsen) offers washed-up minor league pitcher, Gus Cantrell, the chance to manage the Buzz, a minor league team of the Minnesota Twins. Cantrell accepts and, surprise, when he meets his team he finds out that they're a bunch of hopeless hacks.

There's catcher Rube Baker, who apparently forgot how to throw the ball to the mound after he spent so much time on it in "Major League II." Later on in the story, familiar faces Pedro Cerrano and Taka Tanaka rejoin the roster. Finding Tanaka is an incredible stroke of luck, seeing as the Buzz were rolling along on their team bus when they passed a very suspicious looking miniature golf course. Turns out, Tanaka runs the place and is eager to get back in the game. What luck!

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One of the picture's lamer subplots involves the bond that forms between Cerrano and Tanaka. Drawing on their deep spirituality, they lead each other up to the plate wearing a black hood. The hood is then removed in a brief ceremony, followed by the batter finally stepping into the batter's box.

Every "Major League" movie has to have a rival team and in this case it is the Minnesota Twins. Yes, it turns out that Cantrell and Twins manager Leonard Huff (Ted McGinley) have quite the little tiff going between them and the only place to settle it is the baseball diamond.

Not to send chin music someone's way when they're down, but the baseball scenes in the film are downright atrocious. Nearly every time a batter is hitting the shot is done in slow motion, making the game feel very unrealistic.

Overall, "Major League: Back to the Minors" is a horrible movie that is a waste of time to see. If someone is going to put the time and effort into making a baseball movie, they should concentrate on quality rather than making an unnecessary sequel. Save the $7.50, go to the real Tiger Stadium, while it still exists, and take in a real baseball game.

04-20-98