NBC's new 'Rules' is meant to be broken

When NBC premiered its new comedy "House Rules," the show was billed as a situation comedy of "Three friends, one house, no rules." There are two handsome guys, one very cute girl and a quirky Denver dwelling, but one thing is certain - this house doesn't rule.

Focused on the daily lives of three college roommates in their twenties, "House Rules" explores the friendship between the roommates that stems back to childhood. Since they know everything about each other and share similar experiences, they are perfect companions. This relationship, however, is not perfect for comedy or anything else.

Courtesy of NBC "Lifelong friends" Bradley White, Maria Pitillo and David Newsom star in NBC's dismal "House Rules."

The trio of two men, William McCusky and Thomas Riley III, played by David Newsom and Bradley White, and one woman, Casey Farrell, played notably by Maria Pitillo, never sow emotions nor spark a laugh over the notion that all three together make the perfect match. The friendship stays plastic, and the plot stays predictable.

When Farrell accepts an invitation to move to Paris with her boyfriend, the future of the trio's friendship is threatened by the separation. Would NBC get rid of one of the main characters of a new show in its premiere episode? No way in hell. But viewers are supposed to feel suspense when midway through the show, Farrell says to the guys, "I'm going, ya know," and there is a cut to an omniscient shot of all three gazing into the sky right before the commercial break.

Oooohh!!! Will she go? To add to this suspense, the soundtrack plays a bending guitar lick, just one of the annoying alternative guitar sounds that are heard at the beginning of each new scene. After the limo driver exits the door with her bags, without surprise she decides to stay because she would have to leave her dog, or maybe her best buds.

PREVIEW
	House Rules NBC Mondays at 8:30 p.m.

These best buds are two immature, blubbering fools, though one is a medical student and the other is a reporter. McCusky is a cheap combination of Chandler and Joey from NBC's "Friends," always looking for sex and women, cracking quick jokes. He shows both maturity in his plea for Farrell to stay and immaturity when he is afraid to go in the basement because it is dark.

Newsom fails to bring humor or likable qualities to the character. With lines like, "Have a glass eye," in response to being asked for a glass, there is not much to go on.

White also falters with his character of Riley, though more irritatingly. Best known as "the guy who kissed Jamie" on NBC's "Mad About You," White over exaggerates his acting. He throws in lots of hoots, hollers and repeated words and gets no laughs. Like his cohort, he too is an immature adult, running out of the basement yelling, "Web on face," with a fake spider web draped across his brow.

While the two men produce nothing in terms of comedy, Pitillo doesn't lend much of a hand either. She is, however, the only promising spot of "Rules."

Pitillo is cute in a Drew Barrymore sort of way. Her character has some maturity, though she squeaks a lot of eww's and ohh's. Though the typical cardboard mature and immature Generation X-er, Pitillo's character shows some believability in her strength and in her devotion to her friends.

What's also believable about "House Rules" is that I barely cracked a smile watching the ill-fated half-hour premiere. Worst of all the line, "It's not like I asked you to make monkeys fly out of your butt," was uttered by Newsom. Where is Mike Myers when you need him?

Viewers don't deserve to waste time with this babble. Neither does Pitillo, who deserves more than "Rules." She's lucky she has a starring role in the sure-to-be-hit film "Godzilla" this spring, because come May, it's a good bet she won't have this one.

03-13-98