Panel discusses domestic violence

Greek Week participants took a break from lip synchs and relays to attend a panel discussion on domestic violence held in Rackham Auditorium last night.

Rita Smith, executive director of the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence, began the discussion by asking audience members if they had experienced domestic violence.

"How many here have been hit once and think it won't happen again?" Smith asked. "How many think leaving is as easy as walking out the door?"

SARA STILLMAN/Daily Vikkii Coffey, both a survivor of domestic violence and an educator on the topic, spoke at Rackham Auditorium last night.

She asked listeners to bow their heads in silence and take a few moments to think about LSA senior Tamara Williams, who was murdered by her boyfriend Kevin Nelson this past September, and the thousands of others who have lost their lives to violently abusive relationships.

Two panel members who have been victims of domestic violence, talked about their personal experiences with domestic violence.

Vikkii Coffey, whose history with domestic abuse began 25 years ago, said she wanted to share her story to educate others about the issue.

"I really would not share it for any other reason," said Coffey, describing her painful memories of being "trapped in a relationship, sinking in the quicksand."

Coffey recalled the feelings she had after the first time her husband slapped her. She said she asked herself, "What did I do?

"I never once thought about the fact that maybe I didn't do anything," Coffey said.

LSA senior Elizabeth Lee spoke about an abusive relationship she had with a Michigan athlete.

"I was infatuated with the fact that he was an athlete here at U of M," Lee said.

Lee said the man emotionally abused her in front of his friends, but that when the two were in private, he tried to redeem his behavior.

But as the relationship progressed, "he tried to convince me (not to leave the relationship) with his fists," Lee said.

Near the end of the relationship, Lee said, the man physically assaulted several of her friends and sexually assaulted her.

"I just remember him hitting me a couple of times and me saying 'no,'" she said.

Lee said the experience convinced her to pursue a career helping other domestic assault victims.

Through her own abuse, "I have found what I want to do with the rest of my life," Lee said.

Interfraternity Council President Bradley Holcman said Greek Week representatives decided to host the panel because domestic violence has been a prominent issue on campus this semester.

"It has been very relevant to our university in the past year," Holcman said, adding, "you can't stop being educated."

Ann Arbor Mayor Ingrid Sheldon spoke of the Task Force Against Domestic Violence that she founded.

"There is no excuse for violence against women," Sheldon said. "We want to have a constant message. We don't accept that in Ann Arbor and the greater community."

Sheldon commended the men in the audience for attending the event, but University alumnus Mike Jackson warned against giving male audience members too much credit.

"I'm not going to be so kind tonight," Jackson said, speaking to the men. "We batter because we can."

Jackson, a social worker, spoke about the domestic abuse that took place within his family while he was growing up.

He described a situation in which children are affected by problems between parents.

"I was the little boy sitting at the top of the stairs," he said.

He said abusers need to be responsible for their actions.

"I have a passion for holding batterer's accountable," Jackson said. "Things are really clear. That's the easier part my job - going after (batterer's) myths - all the bullshit, all the lies."

Audience members said they attended the presentation to learn more about domestic violence.

"I have a lot of interest in women's issues," LSA junior Colleen Stachura said. "I think it's (an issue) not directly addressed.

"Think about how many shelters we have in Michigan alone," she said.

LSA first-year student Liesel Letzmann said she came to the presentation to find out about the prevalence of domestic abuse on campus.

"I think it is a big problem - period," Letzmann said.

Last night's panel was sponsored by Speaker Initiative and the LSA Student Government.

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