'Dear Mama'

By Pranay Reddy

For Asselin, the tattoo serves as a reminder of his deceased mother, Lee Ann Asselin, who passed away during his senior year of high school. And in respect to her, Asselin tries to make himself a living tribute to the life of his mother.

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Asselin's hardship began on the night of Dec. 23, 1996, as he returned home that night from a friend's house to find his parents, Lee Ann and Brian, watching television. Nothing unusual, just a night like any other. Josh's birthday was the next day, so he sat for some time and had a conversation with his mother before heading up to bed. At 4:30 on the morning of his birthday, Asselin was awakened by his father, who was frantic. His father told him that his mother was experiencing chest pains, and that an ambulance had arrived.

"All he kept saying was, 'I don't know if she's going to make it'," the younger Asselin said.

To the high school senior, the reality of the situation struck him like a splash of cold water.

Although his mother had been sick for some time, Asselin never really considered her mortality an issue, considering she was only 48 years old at the time. But on Dec. 24, 1996, Josh found out just how grave a condition his mother was in.

My father and I "waited for a while at the hospital, and the doctors came out and told us she died," Asselin explained. "It was just something I couldn't believe. You never expect it to happen to you. You hear about things like this, but you never expect it to happen to you."

And the tragedy of the situation was only beginning to manifest itself.

Josh was still the star for Caro (Mich.) High School, and only days later - the night of Lee Ann's funeral - Josh had to pull himself together for a game.

Going straight from the funeral to the game, Josh pondered the situation he was left with after his mother's death. As the game unfolded, Asselin would go on to have one of the best outings of his prep career, putting up 25 points and pulling down 20 rebounds. From his point of view, there was one clear reason for his success that night, despite the obvious adversity.

"I owed it to my mother - she was with me that night," he explained. "From that night (on), I just figured no matter where I go now, she'll always be with me."

Nevertheless, it was a difficult adjustment for Asselin. He spent most of his senior year alone, coming home from practice to find his house empty, with his father off at work. So used to coming home to his mother, he would now have to find a way to deal with the silence.

Eventually, he learned that the stillness only indicated the loss of his mother's physical presence - which he coped with by communicating with his mother on a more spiritual level. Almost two years later, he hasn't lost sight of that notion.

"Before games now, when the team prays on its own, instead of talking to God, I talk to her," Asselin said.

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The adjustment remains a difficult one for Asselin, as he has been forced to cope with his mother's death while suiting up for the Wolverines. Less than a year ago - during Josh's freshman year at Michigan - the Wolverines were preparing for their winter trip to the Puerto Rico Holiday Classic tournament. It was only days before the one-year anniversary of his mother's death, and Asselin was having a difficult time dealing with the pain.

His coach, Brian Ellerbe, gave Josh the day off before the trip, in order for the 6-foot-11 forward to regroup. The Wolverines would be playing on December 24 - both the anniversary of Lee Ann's death and Josh's birthday.

In Puerto Rico, Asselin regained his focus, as he turned in one of his better performances of the season, rejecting six shots against Murray State in Michigan's 76-53 victory.

Again, it seemed that Lee Ann was watching and helping her boy. And from then on, Asselin came to the realization that December 24 would be a day that shouldn't be looked upon with sadness.

"I don't want to take her anniversary as the day she passed away," Asselin said. "I want to look at it as a day of celebration, in a sense. It was the day she moved into her second life.

"It shouldn't be a day of grief - I don't want it to be."

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To say Asselin has suffered through tumultuous times over the past three years is an understatement of the highest order. In addition to handling his mother's passing, Asselin has had to deal with the moving on of another authority figure. This time it was someone outside of his family.

The firing of former Michigan coach Steve Fisher completely pulled the rug out from underneath Asselin. As a senior in high school, it was former Michigan assistant coach Brian Dutcher who spearheaded the recruitment of Asselin, promising that he would be playing for Fisher. It was a short-lived notion, as Asselin would soon find out.

Fisher's firing during October of last year left Asselin with a number of questions, which Ellerbe had to answer. Now, Ellerbe hasn't left a question unanswered for his young forward.

"I think that Coach has done an exceptional job," Asselin said. "He came in as an interim coach - which a lot of people didn't like - and led us to win the Big Ten Tournament."

While Ellerbe's work on an interim level impressed Asselin, the coach's efforts with the coaching position now locked up have exceeded Asselin's expectations.

Thanks to a rigorous offseason, Asselin added 20 pounds of muscle - which he attributes solely to a mandatory conditioning program implemented by Ellerbe.

After spending May and June in Ann Arbor taking classes and working out, Asselin was shipped off to Europe almost immediately to join teammate Brandon Smith on Ellerbe's European vacation of sorts - playing seven games in nine days against professional European teams.

"That, in a way, was a glimpse of the next level," Asselin said. "That was a great experience for me. The players were all bigger and stronger.

"After facing them, I realized I needed to get in better shape."

But it might have been Asselin's other summer experience that gave him the biggest push to improve his game.

As one of the participants in Michael Jordan's basketball camp in suburban Chicago, Asselin had the opportunity to play against 'His Airness' as well as a number of top college players.

Joining Asselin at the camp - in addition to teammates Smith and Louis Bullock - were Maryland's Laron Profit, and Duke's Nate James and Chris Carawell.

"That was a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity," Asselin said. "I couldn't believe it myself - that I was getting that opportunity to play with Michael Jordan."

If Asselin's summer experience didn't provide the impetus to step into the spotlight this season for the Wolverines, then the responsibility placed on him by coaches and teammates should certainly do the trick. With Michigan relying heavily on the backcourt of seniors Bullock and Robbie Reid, it would seem that Asselin would have time to develop. In his eyes, that's quite contrary to the truth.

"Our team is focused on Lou and Rob. If one of them has a bad game, then someone is going to have to step up," Asselin explained. "I can be one of those guys.

"Then again, I think I can go into a game, and not necessarily have to score. If I rebound and screen for other guys and we win, then that's fine."

With the departure of Michigan's stellar frontcourt from a year ago - Robert Traylor, Maceo Baston and Jerod Ward - Asselin's transition from role player to prime-time performer will be a key factor in Michigan's success again this season.

While he may only be a sophomore, Asselin won't be completely green heading into the season. As a freshman, Asselin saw significant minutes playing behind Baston, who was prone to foul trouble and was injured for some time during the year. With those minutes, Asselin played well, pleasing the coaching staff.

Still, the question remains whether Asselin can maintain that kind of output over an entire season as a starter. Michigan may not have a known quantity in Asselin, but that isn't necessarily a bad thing, he said.

"I think we are going to be able to show people that we're not the sloths they may think we are," Asselin said. "People are going to learn that though we may not put up the huge numbers, we can do a lot of things out there."

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In the end, Asselin's success this season, as well as the success of the Wolverines, will come down to a number of different factors.

But given the personal struggles he has already overcome, the unavoidable highs and lows that Asselin will face this season will pale in comparison.

And if he does need help getting through those difficult times, at least Asselin knows he's always going to have his mother with him.

"I think my mother can see me every day, and I'd like to think she's proud of me," Asselin said. "I haven't given up, and no matter what happens, I'll always have hope."

11-12-98