Badgering the witless

MARGARET MYERS/Daily If Michigan's running game sputters Saturday against Wisconsin's top-ranked rushing defense, Clarence Williams won't be doing his job. The senior carried the ball 24 times against Penn State.

Wisconsin football? Only for the cheeseheads

Oh yes, it's great to be a Wisconsiner.

Growing up in suburban Chicago, I have always had an opinion of Wisconsin. Wisconsin was that place where you knew somebody whose parents had a cottage up there - probably in Door County - but you would never want to live there.

Parents would always drag their kids off to the Dairy State instead of wasting money on an enjoyable vacation.

Parental unit: "Hey kids! We were thinking about going to Disneyland for summer vacation ... but the Wisconsin Dells are just as fun. They've got Tommy Bartlett's Robot World!"

Child: "Damn."

During pro football season, Wisconsin's presence was always felt in Chicago, especially when Green Bay was in town. Then, the world had that dirty feel to it. I was scared to leave my house, in fear that a cheesehead-wearing lunatic would start gesticulating wildly, screaming about the greatness of Bart Starr or Don Majikowski or Brett Favre.

But I have to admit, of all the places in Wisconsin that are backwards, the least backwards is Madison. While helping my brother move into Ogg East Hall this year, I enjoyed the campus quite a bit. Madison has that ambiance, that quaint feel that reminds me of Ann Arbor. There is a distinct difference between the two universities, however, and that difference is in the football programs. Normally at this time of year, football season is essentially over for the Badgers, with a team relegated to the spoiler role. Michigan is almost always still in the bowl picture, if not already on its way to a Rose Bowl showdown against Ohio State. But a funny thing happened to the Badgers en route to basketball season: The Wisconsin football team is actually good. Well, ÔgoodÕ in a relative sense. The Wisconsin football team is better than the vegetables on its schedule. If the Badgers faced any more tomatoes on its schedule, they could make enough pasta sauce to feed an entire football team. Or at least Aaron Gibson. ItÕs understandable that the Badgers desired a cupcake schedule. Wisconsin has never won a national championship and probably figured that the easiest way to rise to the top would be to play colleges that have been mistaken for high schools. Wisconsin schedule maker No. 1: ÒHmmmmm É Ohio State isnÕt on our schedule this year. LetÕs just play Ohio University. ThatÕs close enough.Ó Schedule maker No. 2: ÒIs there any way we can get Michigan and Penn State off our schedule, too?Ó Schedule maker No. 1: ÒWeÕll work on that for next season.Ó So Wisconsin now has a chance at the Big Ten championship this season Ñ but no real chance at going to the Fiesta Bowl. Such is the glory of this new Bowl Championship Series, which rewards teams for strength of schedule. To be the best, you have to play the best. Consider the difference between the Badgers this year and the Wolverines last year: Michigan took on the toughest schedule in the country, grabbed it by the short-and-curlies and thwarted the Buckeyes in the final game. Then Washington State and the best offense in the nation were stifled by the best defense in the country. The rest, as they say, is history. ThatÕs the way everything is done at Michigan Ñ the hard way. This season has been similar. The Wolverines lost the first two games but have regrouped and have a full head of steam. ThatÕs the Michigan way of doing things. Apparently, the Wisconsin way is to tiptoe through the regular season until the last two games. Which brings us to the present. As long as quarterback Mike Samuel doesnÕt go into a fit of alcoholic rage and ÔrunningÕ back Ron Dayne actually plays against the Wolverines on Saturday, the Badgers may actually be smelling roses again. But there will be no Fiesta in Madison this year. Ñ Sharat Raju can be reached via e-mail at < a href="sraju@umich.edu">sraju@umich.edu.

11-12-98