Woody satirizescelebs

Recalling back to Allen's glory days of "Manhattan"and "Annie Hall," "Celebrity" was shot entirely in black and white. The intimacy of the two-tone genre is expelled here, as Allen has chosen to focus on the interaction of a few leading characters, along with a slew of star-studded appearances by real-life celebrities.

Within the film, Allen suggests a world where, much like reality, a society of unknowns guest the eccentricities and oddities of the rich and famous. It examines the ways in which our popular culture celebrates certain individuals, people who either don't seem to deserve the recognition, or those who abuse it. Attacking the glam and schmaltz of the American royalty, "Celebrity"dunks our heads into the toilet for a moment, waking us up to the vile silliness of our ways. And, yet, we love it.

Courtesy of Miramax Melanie Griffith shares a tender bedroom moment with Kenneth Branagh.

"Celebrity" follows the days and times of a journalist, played deliciously by Shakespeare do-goody boy Kenneth Branagh. If there ever were such one, Branagh could have graduated from the Woody Allen Acting Conservatory for the Retentive Jewish New Yorker. Branagh's imitation of Allen's trademark witticisms, brevity and quietude are superb - he's come a long way from Henry V.

But then that leaves the question: Why didn't Allen just do it himself? The best guess to answer that query may lie in the fact that audiences would find Lee's sexual exploits unbelievable - a hindrance that has kept audiences from accepting Allen as the supersexual stud, most recently in last year's "Deconstructing Harry," where a shy Allen confronts an ex-lover played by Elizabeth Shue. Instead of satisfying his own fantastic wet dream, Allen has placed Branagh into his typified persona, an actor not only capable of excellence in performance, but one who's not too strikingly handsome.

That's not to say Lee doesn't have his share of relationships - he does, in the likes of Winona Ryder, Judy Davis and Famke Jenssen. The film opens with Lee still suffering from a recent divorce from Robin (Davis). He has moved in with his editor, Bonnie, played sensually by Jenssen, an embittered mature sexpot who is his obvious best choice. Lee, who seems, like many other Allen leading men, to be suffering from a middle-aged crisis with pubescent vigor, cannot satisfy himself with just one beautiful woman. A young actress (Ryder) appears and reappears in his life and kicks him while he is down and out and expects total admiration in return. And, of course, like the celebrities he interviews, Lee takes it all in with the hunger of Richard Simmons on a bad day.

Robin's side of the failed marriage is examined in accounts separate from Lee's; they only interact twice throughout the whole film. Davis spends her first moments in the film portraying a woman who is attempting to move on with her life while she and a friend have checked themselves into a monastery for isolation and emotional healing. Here, as if anyone should doubt, Allen lets the Catholic jokes fly.

Eventually, Robin meets a television producer (Joe Mantegna) who gives her not only a job, but also the relationship of her dreams. Her story is one of female triumph, something rarely seen in an Allen film. Without Davis' performance to add quality to the film, "Celebrity" would have been just silly dramatic fun.

Hollywood stars make guest cameos throughout the film. With Nicole, an actress who Lee interviews, Melanie Griffith adds another dumb blond role under her belt of experience. A type Marilyn Monroe recreated and perfected, yet by truly acting, Griffith doesn't have to work so hard. In a scene where Nicole and Lee revisit the home of her youth, Nicole flounces onto her girlhood bed and looks up at the ceiling and declares, "I used to lie on my bed naked and watch my body develop." If only to be the boy-next-door.

When Davis experiences problems of the boudoir, she exacts the help of a hooker she meets while working on Mantegna's television show. Played raunchily by Bebe Neuwirth, the hooker is asked to demonstrate proper fellatio technique. Grabbing a banana, Neuwirth goes to town - a far cry from Lilith Sternan-Crane, the ultra-repressed dominatrix of "Cheers"' barroom antics. Maybe Allen can only hope his film does for the banana industry what Lewinsky did for the cigar.

In this film, Leonard DiCaprio tries to be toughboy Johnny Depp by pushing around a scantily-clad Gretchen Moll and trashing a hotel room. While the allusion is too painfully obvious, DiCaprio just isn't convincing as a girlfriend beater. His prettyboy image is hard to look past and his performance comes off as weak. His fake too-cool-for-you attitude makes one want to step on him, much like some of the characters in "Antz."

With "Celebrity," Woody Allen is back to his old self. "Celebrity"is both entertaining and thought-provoking. Getting back to his old school style of filmmaking, Allen examines the life of a man and the people he meets, with the richness of humanity thrown in around him. It teaches of expectation and false attribution, with a large serving of humor on the side. With "Celebrity," Allen reassures that fame isn't all so extraordinary.

11-24-98