Boring games mark slate

After perusing the Big Ten schedule for this week, one thing and one thing only is obvious. The only coaches with serious cojones in this conference both lie within the borders of the state of Michigan. This proves to be another uneventful weekend within the realm of the Big Ten, as the only important game on the schedule features Ohio State and Missouri (which, by the way, was scheduled by John Cooper when Missouri was a laughable program).

Even the typically strong-scheduled Wolverines take a much needed week off with Eastern Michigan visiting the Big(ger) House. Although there are no marquee games this week, there is a theme here, which is Rematch Week. Six of the 10 Big Ten games feature rematches from last year, which always seems to make things interesting. Without further ado, here is the roundup for the final non-conference week before the Run for the Roses (or Fiestas) begins:

No. 21 Missouri (2-0) at No. 1 Ohio State (2-0)

You know that something fishy is going on at the Ohio State athletic department when the Buckeyes face not one, but two ranked opponents before the Big Ten season begins (West Virginia being the other one). Could they possibly realize that there is some merit in being tested early in the season, so that you do not choke come big game time in November and January? Only time will tell if it this strategy works.

One thing is for sure, however, and that is that this should be an exciting game. Ohio State boasts one of the nation's most explosive offenses and one of the toughest defenses to move the ball against. A lesser Ohio State team beat a better Missouri team on the road last year, 31-10, so all signs point to a blowout.

The X-factor could be Missouri quarterback Corby Jones, who came into his own last year as one of the most exciting players in the nation. Now he gets his second shot at a No. 1-ranked team in the past year, this one following last year's fantastic finish versus Nebraska. If he can play the game of his life, then Andy Katzenmoyer and kompany (he hasn't passed English yet either) could be in for a tough game.

Ohio State 48, Missouri 27

Central Florida (2-0) at Purdue (1-1)

Speaking of exciting quarterbacks, Purdue is going to run headlong into the most exciting of the bunch, Central Florida's Daunte Culpepper, a preseason Heisman candidate. This guy is flat-out amazing, and is the most exciting player in college since, well, a certain dearly departed No. 2 for the maize and blue. Culpepper passed for 406 yards and four touchdowns last week against Eastern Illinois, and also ran for 73 yards and three scores. By the way, the rest of Central Florida belongs in Division I-AA, where they resided until last year.

On the other side of the field are the Boilermakers, who lead the Big Ten in five-receiver sets, empty backfields and not much else. These guys throw the ball more in one game than most teams do in a week of practice, so this should be a fun one to watch. Joe Tiller did an excellent job turning this team around last year, but Purdue graduated most of its offense, including quarterback Billy Dicken and top receiver Brian Alford. Purdue 35, Central Florida 31

No. 8 Penn State (2-0) at Pittsburgh (1-0)

Last week JoePa got his 300th victory, becoming the fastest coach ever to reach that plateau. The win was not exactly impressive, since beating up on Bowling Green does not exactly constitute a quality win. The previous week, a victory over a strong Southern Mississippi team, proved that this Penn State squad is for real.

The offense features a strong running attack led by Cordell Mitchell, who is averaging a ridiculous 10 yards per carry. The passing game is shaky at best and ineffective at worst. If Pittsburgh can manage to stuff the run, it has a chance, but that does not appear likely. Look for Paterno and Penn State to keep on rolling, but fans shouldn't be surprised if it is closer than last year's 34-17 Penn State victory.

Penn State 26, Pittsburgh 17

Indiana (1-0) at Kentucky (2-0)

This appears to be the week to feature Heisman hopeful quarterbacks, doesn't it? Last year, Kentucky spanked Indiana, 49-7, and Tim Couch (870 yards, 12 touchdowns and no interceptions in two games this year) is primed to do it again.

Cam Cameron better hope that Indiana can move the ball on the ground and keep Kentucky's offense off the field as much as possible, or this one could get ugly. Actually, this one will probably be ugly even if that happens, but what can you expect from a team whose greatest football legacy is Chris Dittoe (late of the Detroit Lions). They're just waiting for hoops season in Bloomington.

Kentucky 56, Indiana 13

UNLV (0-2) at No. 14 Wisconsin (2-0)

Okay, here is all you really need to know. UNLV was spanked by Northwestern. Northwestern was spanked by Duke. Duke is not a good team. Wisconsin is a very good team.

Even with large-and-in-charge running back Ron Dayne questionable for this game, the Badgers should have no trouble running it down the throats of the Runnin' (scared) Rebels.. The defense in Madison has not really been tested yet, so the jury is still out on them, but otherwise, the Badgers look solid.

Wisconsin 38, UNLV 10

Northwestern (1-1) At Rice (1-1)

Speaking of Northwestern, there's just one thing to say: "The dream is over, guys." May I repeat that you got spanked by Duke? Duke! In football. At home.

There has been one consistent positive this year for the Wildcats, however, and that is the return of all-world receiver D'Wayne Bates from a serious knee injury that caused him to miss all of last year. Bates has hauled in 12 passes in two games so far this season, a total that leads the team.

On the other side of the ball, Rice is very interesting to watch. The Owls are one of the only teams left that plays the Wing-T, or wishbone, offense, using three running backs, two tight ends and usually no receivers. They beat Northwestern last year, just barely lost to Purdue last week, 21-19, and the system is tricky to defend.

Rice 28, Northwestern 24

Iowa (1-1) at No. 16 Arizona (2-0)

Here is a math problem that even the Ohio State defense could answer: Iowa, minus Tavian Banks, Matt Sherman and Tim Dwight, equals...?? The answer is: A lot of losses, and even some humiliating ones, like last week's 27-9 loss to Iowa State. They did manage to abuse Central Michigan, but Central Michigan is no Central Florida, and Central Florida is no Arizona.

For some odd reason, Iowa does seem to possess a pretty decent passing game, with the combination of Kyle McCann (65-percent completion rate) and Ryan Barton (168 yards receiving) putting up some solid numbers.

The Desert Swarm defense (so that was a few years ago...) should be able to contain them, at least enough for the solid Arizona offense to put them away. At least Hayden Fry has started scheduling Division I opponents.

Arizona 32, Iowa 10

Memphis (0-2) at Minnesota (2-0)

Minnesota is 2-0, but that is a little bit misleading. Their two opponents have been the lame Houston Cougars (home of professional busts Andre Ware and David Klingler) and Arkansas State ( Bill Clinton's home state). Last year it was a close one, with Minnesota taking it 20-17 in Memphis.

Minnesota does boast one of the top running backs in the Big Ten in Thomas Hamner, while Memphis has spent its first few weeks getting acquainted with the state of Mississippi, losing to Ole Miss and Mississippi State. The Gophers have one more week before they have to wake up from this 3-0 dream and get pounded by serious Big Ten opponents.

Minnesota 27, Memphis 6

Louisville (0-2) at Illinois (1-1)

Saving the best for last brings us to the game of the week, featuring the Fighting Illini and the Cardinals. Something definitely has to give in this matchup, as the pathetic Illinois offense, featuring quarterback Mark Hoekstra (39-percent completion rate), faces a Louisville defense that has given up 68 points to Kentucky and 45 points to Utah.

The edge goes to the Illini due to a functional running game featuring the two-headed monster of Steve Havard and Russell Harvey. This one will be talked about for years to come.

Illinois 7, Louisville 6

Michigan State (1-2) Bye week

Without a Saturday game to focus on, the Spartans have decided to dedicate themselves to going to class this week.

They will not fare as well there as they did against Notre Dame Saturday night, as the task of reading something other than a playbook always seems to give them trouble (they don't do too well with that playbook thing either).

Look for the pressures of being normal students for one week to get to the Spartans, and the result will be a demoralized team come Sept. 26 (game at Michigan).

School Week 1, Michigan State 0

09-16-98