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James Miller Miller on Tap |
When we close our eyes at night or have feverish daydreams in class, this is what seniors see. Or perhaps more generally:
"Position available: Stuff you like to do. Salary: Something you can live on and not have one of those stupid spool coffee tables or a futon."
This is not usually available in reality. These sorts of jobs are like expensive turntables. That is to say other people you don't know who are not you have them. Ever.
This sort of posting is more likely, if the job market was more honest:
"Wanted: Doltish ripesuck of a new graduate in the workforce. Will provide attractive sounding duties during the interview process. Will allude to a salary. Will actually create the illusion of a pleasant, rewarding fulfilling entry level job that will not lead to poverty or death at the hands of the student loan people. Actual duties will include stuff that made everyone else threaten to quit. Salary: A running joke in the human resources department."
The largest upshot of the job hunt, at my place in life and education, is a tremendous, seething, burning, writhing, bile-tasting hatred for people older than you in your profession or area of interest. They are, after all the people with the jobs that you want.
What creates all this resentment is everywhere I've ever worked there have always been at least one or two wastes of money and a desk chair. Either some trailer-haired bitch queen with jowls and a Diet Pepsi who spends her days gossiping behind her partition or a self-important, self-congratulatory ass who likes to touch all the female co-workers too much.
Companies are full of these people, and the University has more than it can hold. Puffy, stringy, soulless, dead little gold-bricking middle management monkeys who make 40, 50 even 60 thousand a year for no reason at all.
Whereas a young, slightly inexperienced recent graduate can't get a foot in the door of his field, but Ed, the assistantmanagingdirectorofstrategyplanninganddirectives needs a cost of living raise. Sorry kid, that job's for a grown-up and we look after our incompetent own. How about another unpaid internship that won't lead anywhere? I could always use a bright, energetic kid to water my plants and make coffee. You have a bachelor's degree? That is SO cute. You know that bitch Sue at the end of the hall? No college degree and she has the job you want and she can't be fired. Isn't that a hoot? Well, we'll keep your resume on file. Could you get some coffee for Sue before you take the bus home? Thanks.
But I've digressed.
Maybe this is because I don't have a very technical understanding of business or economics, but why is it that things that are fun, exciting, interesting, valuable or stimulating have no money connected to them at all? Art, music, literature, culture, journalism, environmental work, filmmaking, education, learning, progressive politics; all that stuff might as well have a sign on it that says "money repellent."
But things that are boring, destructive and filled with idiots have more money than they know what to do with.
Publishing companies, art galleries, publications or anything having to do with the humanities or culture have to fight for every nickel and has no money to hire you (Sue has your job there). However, a piece of shit software company or "consulting firm" staffed completely by people who tape "Dilbert" is busy putting another layer of gold on the fixtures and hirits. The boss is never around."
When we close our eyes at night or have feverish daydreams in class, this is what seniors see. Or perhaps more generally:
"Position available: Stuff you like to do. Salary: Something you can live on and not have one of those stupid spool coffee tables or a futon."
This is not usually available in reality. These sorts of jobs are like expensive turntables. That is to say other people you don't know who are not you have them. Ever.
This sort of posting is more likely, if the job market was more honest:
"Wanted: Doltish ripesuck of a new graduate in the workforce. Will provide attractive sounding duties during the interview process. Will allude to a salary. Will actually create the illusion of a pleasant, rewarding fulfilling entry level job that will not lead to poverty or death at the hands of the student loan people. Actual duties will include stuff that made everyone else threaten to quit. Salary: A running joke in the human resources department."
The largest upshot of the job hunt, at my place in life and education, is a tremendous, seething, burning, writhing, bile-tasting hatred for people older than you in your profession or area of interest. They are, after all the people with the jobs that you want.
What creates all this resentment is everywhere I've ever worked there have always been at least one or two wastes of money and a desk chair. Either some trailer-haired bitch queen with jowls and a Diet Pepsi who spends her days gossiping behind her partition or a self-important, self-congratulatory ass who likes to touch all the female co-workers too much.
Companies are full of these people, and the University has more than it can hold. Puffy, stringy, soulless, dead little gold-bricking middle management monkeys who make 40, 50 even 60 thousand a year for no reason at all.
Whereas a young, slightly inexperienced recent graduate can't get a foot in the door of his field, but Ed, the assistantmanagingdirectorofstrategyplanninganddirectives needs a cost of living raise. Sorry kid, that job's for a grown-up and we look after our incompetent own. How about another unpaid internship that won't lead anywhere? I could always use a bright, energetic kid to water my plants and make coffee. You have a bachelor's degree? That is SO cute. You know that bitch Sue at the end of the hall? No college degree and she has the job you want and she can't be fired. Isn't that a hoot? Well, we'll keep your resume on file. Could you get some coffee for Sue before you take the bus home? Thanks.
But I've digressed.
Maybe this is because I don't have a very technical understanding of business or economics, but why is it that things that are fun, exciting, interesting, valuable or stimulating have no money connected to them at all? Art, music, literature, culture, journalism, environmental work, filmmaking, education, learning, progressive politics; all that stuff might as well have a sign on it that says "money repellent."
But things that are boring, destructive and filled with idiots have more money than they know what to do with.
Publishing companies, art galleries, publications or anything having to do with the humanities or culture have to fight for every nickel and has no money to hire you (Sue has your job there). However, a piece of shit software company or "consulting firm" staffed completely by people who tape "Dilbert" is busy putting another layer of gold on the fixtures and hiring someone to "re-engineer its routine process of implementation electronic messaging."
And while I'm being random, all of you who are or are trying to be consultants: what do you do? If you just start being a consultant without having had another career first, what are you qualified to consult about?
Is this a prank?
What does this leave the new graduate? A few things to keep in mind:
1) The employed like to protect each other. That means not hiring you, as new, young employees like to work and do things. This is bad. Administration and management perpetuates itself,
02-03-99
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