Hang in there! Semester's toughest week is almost over

Chances are you're going through the most academically painful week of the semester right now. And of course it's conveniently placed right in front of spring break.

Papers jump you like attackers in a Jackie Chan flick. Just when you strike the decisive blow on one, another lunges from behind. And unlike Jackie Chan bad guys, sometimes papers team up and hit you all at once. If you stop working for even a moment, your papers are going to be more overdue than the next Peter Gabriel album.

And let's not forget midterms - tests determining a large chunk of one's final grade given to people for whom sleep is but a distant rumor.

David Wallace Exile on Maynard St.

I don't know anyone on campus not going through this right now. Even people you think are slackers show dedication. For example, I live near people who never miss a chance to party. People who celebrate un-birthdays. And yet, this week I heard one of them turn down a chance to drink free beer. "I've got to work straight through until at least 2 a.m., man. Two big papers." Come on, this kid thinks beer is food and instead he's doing work? What are the academically inclined students doing? Probably NoDoz.

But you can tell it's a miserable time on campus - no one's wearing a smile unless they're like Lennie in "Of Mice and Men" imagining the rabbits. It's all drab, rumpled clothing and dirty baseball caps, which are the quickest way for a person on little sleep to comb his hair. I mean, a typical conversation goes like this:

"Did you pass your test?"

"Like a kidney stone."

Ouch. I've been on both sides of this conversation and you probably have too. We're plodding through the make-or-break week. This is the time to play through pain, because it determines the course for the rest of the semester. Ace the tests, and the remaining half is an alpine slope and you're Hermann Maier. Perform poorly, and you've got a long, hard climb back to C-level.

But this is the worst way to do it. Our own University procrastinates, filling one week with a disproportionate percentage of students' grades for the semester. Breaking students down and wearing them out - can one expect to accurately test students' abilities this way? For starters, I'd wager students perform better at the beginning of this week than at the end.

Part of the problem is our professors. Few of them recognize that students take other courses. Admit it, if your English professor saw your schedule he might say, "Physics? Did Joyce need physics to write his masterpieces?" And given the same fortune, your Physics professor might respond, "Who needs English? I don't speak English and I'm doing fine."

Ideally, more professors would take the path that a minority of their colleagues choose. Some professors and instructors schedule midterms and due dates earlier or later than the week before spring break, while others understand student pressures and give due dates some flexibility. Thanks to these people, we can take a few breaths.

So why does spring break always fall after this most grueling week? Well, I think three philosophies play a part. There is of course the compassionate philosophy. The University understands the stress students incur over the entire first half semester - particularly during the midway point. A break is necessary for student morale and future performance.

The second I would term the didactic philosophy. By depriving us of our lives outside school for one week, the University makes us more appreciative of blocks of free time to spend with friends and parents. Because the previous week was so tough, the sweetness of spring break is magnified. This crazy bastion of education, always looking to teach us something.

Finally, a philosophy of self-preservation on the part of University administrators results in spring break serving as the proverbial light at the end of the mid-terms tunnel. This policy of appeasement stems from a fear that overworked students might conclude to show the history and French departments what Bastille Day was like in 1789. Take nothing for granted in dealing with students running on caffeine and desire.

Today, spring break lies on the peripheral of our vision. This past Sunday evening, the tests and papers stood tall enough to keep us from even viewing the goal. But now we can see those trips to warm climates, those trips home and those trips to the lovely couch in the living room waiting for someone with nine days of relaxation ahead.

- David Wallace can be reached over

e-mail at davidmw@umich.edu.

Exile on Maynard St.

02-25-99