An open letter to Mr. Complainer: Shut up you brat

Complainers are good at making bad situations worse, but this is not their gift. A Complainer's true talent lies in his or her ability to make a neutral or good situation seem horrible. Complainers love to drone on and on about petty, stupid things. When your class receives a homework assignment over the weekend, Mr. Complainer is the first to say, "My gosh, this class sucks so hard."

Mike Lopez Man at Large

If the professor gives you the weekend off, Complainer squeezes out a "I've got nothing planned. My life is so boring." If the Complainer is single, "No one cares about me. I'm going to be alone for the rest of my life. I'm a loser." When they have a significant other, you hear, "My partner doesn't care about my feelings. I feel stifled. I need to be my own person." In a Complainer's life, something is always wrong.

I recently read a complaint from a guy who was totally distraught about the fact that women could use Ms, Miss, or Mrs. before their names, but men could only use Mr. No kidding here. "Why the hell do women need three freakin' titles for their names? Women should just have Mrs. as there title. And Ms. is the stupidest. Who the hell had the speech impediment that brought that title into the English language? From now on, I'm going to call all women Mrs. (their last name here.)"

At least the Complainer seems to believe in some sort of Right and Wrong. A true moral relativist would have nothing to complain about.

I guess that's the Complainer's saving grace. It's just too bad that the Complainer has to make everything into something wrong. There is a lot of good out there and even the stuff that is actually wrong could be handled in a better way.

This weekend, my wonderful girlfriend and I watched Life is Beautiful at the Fox Village. If you haven't had a chance to see the movie, we highly recommend it. It is about the unbreakable spirit of an Italian Jewish man living the hell of a Nazi concentration camp. We meet our friend, a quick witted, loud mouth with a penchant for telling tall tales, as a free man who gets into tons of trouble, but never lets it phase him.

As the story develops, the strength of his spirit is put to the test. He and his small son are sent to a concentration camp. Unwilling to tell his son the horrible truth of their situation, he makes up a story about a game. He tells the boy that for his birthday, he has enrolled them in a contest. If they play the game right, they will get points every day and the first person with 1,000 points will win first prize, a real tank. Amazingly, he manages to shelter his son from all the nastiness and suffering of the Holocaust happening around them. Coming back from a day of hard labor, he brags about how he and the men played hopscotch and laughed all day. Soldiers are referees. The sudden disappearance of all the children turns into a hide and seek contest. He manages to use every single circumstance of their situation to further develop the tall tale. The story is a true celebration of the human spirit.

When I walked out of the theatre, I wasn't about to complain about anything. Compared to a lot of people on this earth, my life is beautiful. Imagine how the Complainer sounds to a Holocaust survivor? The Complainer says, "I haven't eaten since noon. I'm so hungry. If I don't eat something soon, I'm going to die." The Holocaust survivor's response is, "I once went without food for two weeks. I had to bear the pain in silence, for anyone who cried for food was shot." I don't know about you, but thinking profoundly humbling. It certainly makes me stop and wonder how often the Complainer's shoes were my own.

Anyhow, heed these words Mr. Complainer. Be thankful for the life you have. You've been given a gift far greater than many on earth will ever receive. Remember the old saying, "Don't complain about thorns among roses; be grateful for roses among thorns."

- Mike Lopez can be reached via

e-mail at manatlarge@umich.edu.

11-03-99