One Big Horrible 'Death'

MTV show spawns bland disc

As if the the visual stimulation of the "most gory claymation show in all of history" wasn't enough, the wizards in the MTV marketing department dreamed up a Celebrity Death Match CD for the bloodthirsty viewer in all of us.

The stellar talent lined up for this release include the likes of Marilyn Manson, Eminem, Powerman 5000, and other "hard edged" acts like Sevendust and Rob Zombie.

Perhaps the record's only salvation is that it doesn't take itself too seriously. The first track, Marilyn Manson's "Astonishing Panorama of the Endtimes" is nothing more than typical Manson dreck. Successive offerings spiral further down the ladder of good taste. Xzibit makes a crass commercial move on track number two, simply titled "Celebrity Death Match." Replete with crowd cheers from the television show, if the rapper ever had any talent, it isn't apparent on this cut.

For those with a masochistic, Death Match induced sort of spirit, be sure to check out other winners on this compilation: "Standing 8," from Powerman 5000, "Secret Wars," by The Last Emperor, " and "Lets Go All the Way," by The Wondergirls. Each song tries all too hard to cash in by embodying a specific genre of music, just as Celebrity Death Match (the program) tries to capture a sort of humor that was evident in only the first few short and humor filled clips used as teasers between other bland MTV programs.

But leave it to creators of "the next big thing" to beat that very same thing to death. The show and disc are both clear cut proof that MTV needs to re-examine their formula for success.

Eminem's contribution to the pseudo-soundtrack, "My Fault," isn't all together horrible, but like most of his choruses, the line "I never meant to give you mushrooms girl/I never meant to bring you to my world" does elicit at least a few pathetic laughs from listeners before turning extremely annoying. As if that weren't enough, the song appears to have been edited for younger fans.

Ironic, isn't it, that the album closes with a track titled "Money" from none other than those radio darlings of this past summer, Lit. Indeed, this record was not released because a stellar line up had been assembled and should be heard, but for profit and profit alone.

At any cost, be sure to stray far from the path of the Celebrity Death Match. If the actual show wasn't enough to scare you away, the CD will be sure to pound your senses into the ground demanding you ask the question "Is this what music has come to?" before crying uncle.

11-30-99