A few words of advice: Avoid playing the 'Blame Game'

hat is it with blame? Whenever something goes terribly wrong, people don't feel satisfied unless some sort of blame is placed. Instead of looking to the deeper problem behind things, we are all so quick to point the finger. Why? To get the blame off ourselves, off anything that we may be associated with. When too many people point the finger, a sort of mob mentality forms, and whatever is being blamed is labeled as bad or wrong. A chain reaction starts; now all things resembling the blamed are at fault. It's a dirty little circle that only ends in everyone being hurt. "The Blame Game" is not just a show on MTV. The blame game is what ends relationships, friendships and fraternities.

But why shouldn't we have the right to blame, if we believe we didn't do it? Well I suppose it all boils down to what you're trying to accomplish. If you want frustration and broken ties, blame away. But what are you really accomplishing? Absolutely nothing. To point the finger is a selfish act.

Instead of using our time to accuse and bitch about how the blamed wronged us/the University/society, etc., we should step back and look at the larger problem that is at hand. What went wrong here, and how can we fix it? Not, "who's fault is this?!"

Applied to relationships and friendships, this means that instead of focusing on who started the fight, question why the hell you're fighting with the person you supposedly care about. The second the blame is placed, they're on the defensive. Nothing will get accomplished when someone feels threatened and compelled to defend their actions.

No one ever believes themselves to be wrong. It's a lost cause to try and make someone accept the blame. So blaming is a selfish act. The only conceivable reason to blame is so one can say, "Here, see - I didn't do it! I am not responsible! It's totally them, not me." Pointing the finger relieves the blamer of any prior felt guilt.

The Greek system is a prime example of the evils of blaming. Whenever someone drinks too much, it has to be the fault of the provider, not the consumer. Since the domino effect of bad publicity has already begun for fraternities and sororities, the University community is all too quick to follow the trend and point the finger. It is a basic human need to have a tangible thing to blame. People don't settle so well when events happen and are left with no cause. It's a modern day witch-hunt - someone has to take the fall. It is so convenient to label the Greek system as the only source of underage drinking. It's a nice little package when a social problem can be pinned on one organization. When stuff happens, the public demands the guilt be placed so they can have something to discuss and bash.

And here comes the domino effect. After a really crummy relationship, the entire male/female gender becomes evil. After one friend turns out to be a backstabber, you suspect all future friends to do the same thing. One fraternity gets a bad rep and suddenly the entire Greek system is full of dangers to society. Notice the trend? It's our nasty friend called blame.

Just once, try looking to the deeper, structural problems behind things. Initial anger is natural, but try to see past it to discover the truth. Don't fall victim to the "domino-effect" mentality. Blame, while it may feel terribly liberating, does jack in the long run. What can we do as a society to solve problems that are happening not just across the street, but across the nation? Work to solve instead of searching to blame.

-Erin McQuinn can be reached via e-mail at emcquinn@umich.edu.

Erin

McQuinn