Gaggle of "Goonies" gets goofy

By David Victor

Daily Arts Writer

Perhaps the greatest kids' adventure movie, at least for the last generation, is "The Goonies." Just the title brings back memories of tons of gross jokes, nifty gadgets, underground secret caves full of traps, bumbling bad guys, a load of pirate treasure and even some vintage Cyndi Lauper music. What more could a kid ask for? This is one of those movies you can see way after you've "outgrown" it and still thoroughly enjoy it for the nostalgia alone.

Those of you who grew up in Fiji or something might need a rundown of the plot. A bunch of best friends are about to be separated because of a housing foreclosure. During their last days together, they stumble across an old pirate map that leads to a stash of buried treasure. When they follow the map to a criminal's hideout, they find themselves chased by the bad guys while exploring forgotten underground caves for the loot. But a mere summary doesn't do the film (directed by "Superman" and "Lethal Weapon" veteran Richard Donner from a Spielberg story) proper justice. There's so much more to the recipe that makes "The Goonies" so good.

The unforgettable cast of characters is probably "Goonies'"strongest aspect. The motley gang of boys had someone every kid could identify with. There was the asthmatic leader, Mikey, who finds the map and leads everyone on the adventure. He was played by Sean Astin, who will soon star as Samwise in the film adaptation of Tolkien's "Lord of the Rings" trilogy. Mikey was constantly tormented by his hunky older brother, Brandon (Josh Brolin, who grew up to snag Minnie Driver).

Mikey's talkative friend, nicknamed Mouth (played snidely by terminal child star Corey Feldman) always had something smarmy to say. Way before "Star Trek: TNG", there was Data, who had an incredible number of gadgets stuffed into his trench coat (this is also the kid who played Short Round in "Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom"). The obnoxious, obese Chunk was always either eating something or freaking out. The two older hotties, Andy and Stefanie, made a memorable female duo.

The bad guys set a great standard for being both menacing and bumbling at the same time. Anne Ramsey, as Austin Powers might say, played the entirely too "mannish" Mama Fratelli. Her mean-spirited sons, Jake and Francis, were simply an antagonistic presence, but most modern-day viewers will recognize Francis as the traitorous Cypher from "The Matrix." And then there was Sloth.

Sloth was the freakiest person I had ever seen. He must have been dropped on his head as a baby - into a food processor. However, his halting, innocent speech, childish behavior and Superman t-shirt won us over, and in many impressionable memories, he'll always be the ultimate misunderstood hero. My favorite line: "Ruuuth! Baaaby Ruuth!" All these characters come together to make some hilarious scenes.

There are so many great bits in this movie. If you know what I'm talking about, recall them fondly from your halcyon days, and if you haven't seen the movie yet, look for them when you rent it. Watch, rewind, repeat.

For example, that Mouth was always such a punk. His best scene was early in the film, when he talked to the maid in Spanish and freaked her out. The fact that he was talking about marijuana was lost on me at my young age - it's a detail that just gets better in repeat viewings when you're older.

Data also rocked the house repeatedly with his cool gadgets. Who hasn't wanted "slick shoes" or a spring loaded boxing glove in their coat? And that Mikey sure got the ladies ... what a stud.

However, this movie belongs to the improbably lovable Chunk. Whether he's smashing food against restaurant windows or pigging out on ice cream, he was hilariousr. The single most laugh-filled moment in the history of my childhood was when he told the bad guys his fake-vomit-in-the-movie-theater story.

In retrospect, it's also highly amusing how he freaked out over seeing the "Black ORV." I guess that's what SUV's were called in the '80s. It wouldn't be so shocking for Chunk today, now that they're jam-packed in every fraternity driveway across the nation. Back then, though, there was only one: It was black, and the bad guys had it.

Overall, "Goonies" is one of those classic movies that shaped the youthful years of our generation. If you haven't done so already, drop by the video store and rent it. If you remember it as fondly as I do, I can guarantee it's just as good the second, third, fourth or twentieth time around. Simply put, "The Goonies" rocks.

Courtesy of 20th Century Fox

Sean Astin as "Mikey" Walsh calls the shots for his fellow Goonies.