Marry a multimillionaire and sell out a whole nation

It's unbelievable that a country in which one out of every two marriages falls apart and ends in divorce would turn a wedding into a game show.

Heather Kamins Kandid Kamins

Even more staggering, nearly 23 million viewers would turn on their TVs to watch the spin-a-wheel get-a-bride bonanza hoping for disaster. Yes, don't try to deny it. You watched "Who Wants to Marry a Multimillionaire" just waiting for the gold digging tryst to turn into a Jerry Springer episode. And when the honeymoon, both literally and figuratively, ended a week later we all act surprised.

Really, though, no successful drama can be left alone without a sequel. It was just a matter of time until some eager small-town reporter would uncover a dirty little secret from the happy couple's pasts.

Again we act shocked? How could this would-be Romeo be a hiding restraining order from the American television audience? Keeping secrets from spouses and significant others is reprehensible, right? Wrong. Of course someone who would marry a perfect stranger on national television would have a checkered past. And of course the American public, pretending to be naive, eats it up.

It's a spectacle, sparking huge debates on marriage, the media and women's rights. Some say he's a jerk or she's a flake and responsible for pushing the women's movement back 20 years. Some say broadcasting networks have to be more responsible. Some place blame with the viewers.

I didn't watch FOX's broadcast last Tuesday night. I wish I could say it was because I was not interested in it or was upholding a deep moral objection to a show mocking the sanctity of marriage, but in truth I just missed it.

I was interested. Often, I pay $8 at the movie theater to watch two imaginary people fall in love in the course of some ridiculous plot. Who'd miss a real-life TV drama about two strangers entering into a marriage almost guaranteed to fail. That is of course, if the whole affair wasn't broken up first, which might have been even more entertaining.

Prime time family fun, right? So where's the harm - unless it's your sister (or worse girlfriend) getting married. There is serious trouble, though, with television placing so much emphasis on money and beauty. No wonder most cars last longer than the majority of American marriages. Darva Conger, the 34-year-old college graduate, Persian Gulf war veteran who snagged a millionaire in a beauty pageant, said in an interview with "Good Morning America" that she participated in the contest as "a lark." Instead, she won a husband and lost a lot of credibility.

She definitely does not make a strong case for the advancement of women in the 21st Century. How is it possible that an educated woman would sacrifice her integrity and a marriage based on true love for a large wallet? How can a marriage be worth no more than the money involved?

And young women were given a pretty horrible message - the rich guy picks the girl that looks best in a bikini. I mistakenly thought marriage was an institution of trust, love and partnership. Apparently, we have moved back to the days of dowry. You'd think the ultimate game show would be entitled "Who Wants to Marry a Man with a Heart of Gold."

I know. I know. It's TV. We shouldn't take it seriously - except that it's real. And so in turn is the ending. Unlike most television shows, these two newlyweds will not ride off into the sunset, which is maybe the best lesson of all. America waited to pipe up until after the show broadcasted. The ending of "Who Wants to Marry a Multimillionaire" was as predictable as Freddie Prinze Jr. getting the girl.

But ordinary, everyday people cannot handle being placed in contrived situations under a microscope without coming through unscathed. They'll break every time. Should the television media be held responsible for them? For the authenticity of marriage? For a young woman's self-image? For America's obsession with money? Or is the only job of a high-powered network to give the people what they want - trashy television, at the expense of society.

- Heather Kamins can be reached via

e-mail at hbk@umich.edu.