The SportsMonday Column T. J. Berka Teeing Off T-shirt toss, along with national title, makes men's gymnastics team must see There is a well-kept secret lurking in the shadows of the University of Michigan campus. This group of Wolverines does its job better than anyone in the nation, yet doesn't get much credit for it. Don't expect that anonymity to last much longer, though. The Michigan men's gymnastics team is too good to lurk in the shadows much longer. The fact that the men's gymnastics team isn't a bigger player on this campus is semi-shocking to me, especially since they won a national title last April. You would think that being the best at any sport - from football to curling to tiddlywinks - should get you props from some of the peeps on this campus. But fame didn't hit the Michigan men's gymnastics program after their national championship. It looked as if gymnastics would go the way of Major League Soccer and the World League of American Football. That's not going to happen, though. The Michigan men's gymnastics team will thrive because of one simple, but very clutch, gift. T-shirts. Don't get me wrong, the T-shirts aren't the only thing that the Michigan men's gymnastics program has going for it. Michigan has the 1999 Coach of the Year in Kurt Golder, who has taken the program from the verge of cancellation to a national championship in three years. The Wolverines also boast Olympic talent with sophomores Scott Vetere and Brad Kenna and juniors Justin Toman and Kevin Roulston. Toman made history last year, becoming the first gymnast and first non-senior to be named Michigan Male Athlete of the Year. In other words, Michigan is stacked. This fact is slowly getting the attention of the campus, as Cliff Keen Arena is selling a few more hot dogs then they used to at gymnastics meets. So the sport is catching on. But for men's gymnastics to become a major sport at Michigan - or cool enough to get the team members free admission with no waiting at Rick's - the giving away of the free T-shirts needs to be played up. The gymnastics team has got one of the greatest scams going at this University in quite a while. Whenever a Michigan gymnast scores a 9.7 or better on any apparatus, that gymnast proceeds to throw a yellow T-shirt into the crowd. This is a practice that may not be unprecedented, but it is cool as hell. Imagine if other sports did stuff like this. Imagine if Brian Ellerbe threw out T-shirts every time the Wolverines made a three-pointer. Imagine if Red Berenson hand-delivered T-shirts to fans at Yost Ice Arena after every Michigan goal. If I'm feeling really creative, I can imagine Eric Rosel and Victor Hobson handing out T-shirts after every Todd Howard interception. OK, the last situation was a little much. Everyone knows that Howard will never get an interception. But despite that, one fact remains - free T-shirts are cool. They were especially cool on Saturday night, partially because it was unexpected. As I was walking to Cliff Keen Arena, I told myself that I would go to the meet for the sake of being political - one of my roommates is on the team - stay for an event, then leave to start my night of drunken stupidity. But once I arrived at Cliff Keen Arena and saw Roulston throw a bright yellow shirt into the crowd after scoring a 9.825 on the floor exercise, I was hooked. My goal in life quickly changed. Instead of getting with a supermodel, all I wanted to accomplish in life was to grab a hold of those T-shirts. Because of this irrational desire for T-shirts, I revised my original plan. I stayed for three events, hoping against hope to get a T-shirt. Because I was watching the top-ranked defending champion Wolverines, I thought that it was entirely feasible to get some winnings. There were certainly opportunities for a T-shirt, as six Michigan gymnasts registered a 9.7 or better. But the gymnasts kept forsaking the student section, throwing the shirts to the non-students instead. Although they haven't learned to spread the T-shirt lovin' yet, the men's gymnastics team has hit a potential gold mine as far as fan support is concerned. The concept of free T-shirts is enough to pack Cliff Keen Arena. I, along with many other college students, hate doing laundry and are looking for any reason not to do it. Therefore, people will come out to avoid heading to Mr. Stadium. It also has tangible benefits to the gymnasts, as the fans will be more vocal. Along with cheering for the gymnasts because they attend Michigan, the fans will also have the prospect of a T-shirt to get excited about. There are two more meets left at Cliff Keen Arena, so there should be plenty of shirts there for the taking. I'm sure this venture will be more successful than my failed attempt at a Maize Rage shirt. - T.J. Berka would beg for a t-shirt, but he has ethics and personal pride. He can be reached at berkat@umich.edu. Originally on page 3B in the 1-24-2000 issue of the Daily.