Cybill's sex history fails to appetize

* Let's start off this week's Hollywood news with sex. Lots of sex. Cybill Shepherd ("Moonlight-ing") has just penned her autobiography and is it ever a juicy one. She tells of all her sexual escapades with various celebrities about town. Probably the weirdest is her Graceland getaway with Elvis Presley. Readers are treated to Cybill's account eating deep fried peanut butter and mayo sandwiches, then retreating to his "all red and black" bedroom with four TV's, mirrored walls and ceilings (beat that, Hotel California). Ewww. Well, he is the King.

Even stranger is the Un-Cybillized One's nookie session with Don "No, really, I'm not gay!" Johnson. She writes, "It was like wolfing down a candy bar when you're starving - fast, furious, intense - and it was all over in five minutes." Double ewww.

* I guess the MPAA is finally cracking down on the Farelly Brothers, experienced purveyors of the gross-out as a form of cinematic entertainment. In their upcoming film "Say it Ain't So," starring Heather Graham, the Farelly Brothers have been forced to cut some especially raunchy scenes. One involves a guy masturbating in his car (twice, no less) and the other involves using waxed hairs from a beauty salon floor to make a fake moustache. At this rate my ewww factor is in danger of entering the red zone.

* Digital horndogs eager to get their hands on the latest "Tomb Raider" game will soon have another reason to put off getting a life. The production details for a "Tomb Raider" movie have been finalized, and shooting will begin in a few months. And who will fill Lara Croft's bountiful cyber-bra? Why, none other than Anna Kournikova. Just kidding. It'll be Angelina Jolie ("Girl, Interrupted"). Admit it, I had you there for a minute.

* Speaking of virtual vixens, Pamela Lee will soon have her own video game based on her new show, "V.I.P." I hate to break it to you, folks, but this game is going to suck. The reason? The French are making it. No-name company Kalisto is in on the project. To get an idea of their plans, here's a quote from one of their spokesmen: "In her film 'Barb Wire,' Pamela played a character that did not like to be called "babe" - in this venture, she is most definitely a babe - a cyber-babe." Ummm ... what? I just don't understand the French.

* In Hollywood, you can make pantsloads of money even if your product is crappy and disappointing. George Lucas reinforced this when he was announced as the highest paid entertainer of 1999. Jar Jar's pimp pulled in a whopping $400 million dollars from film and licensing royalties for "The Phantom Menace." No word on whether or not he plans to save it or buy a house built out of solid gold (and a rocket car).

* In an effort to take the guessing out of this year's Oscars, "American Beauty" is winning everything in sight. On top of its Golden Globe awards, "Beauty" has just snagged the awards of the Screenwriter's, Producer's and Screen Actors Guilds. We can all take solace in "The Cider House Rules" getting its ass kicked come Oscar time. In related news, "High Times" magazine voted "Being John Malkovich" as best stoner movie of the year. Way to go, Spike Jonze.

Those of you sick of hearing cliched phrases like "Yeah, baby!" and "Oh, behave!" can finally give a sigh of relief. Mike "Austin/Dr. Evil/Fat Bastard" Myers has chosen "Sprockets" to be his next film project. In the guise of his early "SNL" character Dieter, Myers will likely make fun of all things German for 90 to 100 minutes. "Would you like to touch my monkey?" Myers' payday? A shagadelic $20 million.

- Compiled by Daily Arts Writer

David Victor. Page 6 (www.page6.com) and Entertainment Weekly Online (www.ewonline.com) contributed to the report.

Courtesy of Warner Brothers

Back when she was young enough to get invited backstage at Elvis' Vegas gigs, Cybill Shepherd tended to put her hands in the air and shake her body like she just didn't care.