Need a little chuckle? Look to East Lansing

My mother has always told me not to delight in other people's misfortunes.

Chris Duprey Dupe's Scoop

Well, sorry Mom. Right now that's the only thing that can make me feel better.

The Michigan football team has squandered a chance to make this season anything other than just another year. Midterms have arrived. The weather is getting much more brisk. All in all, there's very little to be excited about right now in Ann Arbor.

So I'll look north. Whenever I start to get down about the state of affairs on this campus, I look at Michigan State and their football fortunes. Usually a quick glance at the standings, along with a bowl of hot Ramen, makes me feel much better.

Lo and behold, the ol' standby has worked again. In an effort to pull me out of my doldrums, Michigan State, after a 3-0 start, is now 3-2 (0-2 in the conference). The Spartans are looking up at every team except Wisconsin, which is 0-3.

Even better, there's a remote chance that Michigan State will finish Big Ten play 0-8. Aside from 1994, when the Spartans forfeited all 11 of their games, they have never finished the Big Ten season without a win or a tie.

Michigan State's slide began last week. An easy win at Iowa slipped away last weekend, dropping the Spartans to 0-2.

Wisconsin visits Spartan Stadium this weekend. It's inconceivable that the Badgers will slip to 0-4. Their run defense should do a decent job on T.J. Duckett and that's about all Michigan State has to offer this season.

A week from this Saturday, the Spartans come to Michigan for the annual rivalry game. Michigan State hasn't beaten the Wolverines in consecutive seasons since 1966 and '67. And without a passing game to exploit Michigan's weak defensive backs, they won't break that streak.

Illinois represents Michigan State's best chance to get a victory when the Illini travel to East Lansing on Oct. 28. Still, Illinois can't be dismissed solely on account of its poor performance at Minnesota on Sept. 30. That's still a team with talent, and will provide the Spartans a challenge.

Michigan State goes to Columbus to play Ohio State next. Combine what will be at stake for the Buckeyes at that point in the season with their memories of what happened in Ohio Stadium two years ago, and Michigan State will need quite a few breaks to go their way.

The Spartans' most frustrating opponent, Purdue, then comes to town. Michigan State has had a horrible time with the Boilermakers since Joe Tiller arrived. The Spartans blew a 21-10 lead with just two minutes left in 1997, losing 22-21. They were edged at home in '98, 25-24.

And last season, Michigan State's outside angle at the national title game was promptly dismissed by Purdue, 52-28, at Ross-Ade Stadium. The Boilermakers give this team fits, and will likely do it again Nov. 11.

Lastly: the Land Grant Trophy game, at Penn State on Nov. 18. It's another solid opportunity for State to steal a victory. But if they enter that game 0-7 in the conference, the pressure could prove too much. Plus, Penn State-Michigan State games tend to be close, regardless of the skill of the teams involved.

It's an outside chance, I'm aware. Still, Michigan fans need some ammunition to use against Michigan State's basketball prowess.

Clowning the Spartans for an 0-8 Big Ten mark isn't as good as a national championship of our own, but hey, what the hell, we're sports fans. We'll be petty if we have to.

Given the way our own team's playing, it looks like we will.

- Chris Duprey can be reached at cduprey@umich.edu.