'Outsider' author Suzanne Clores discusses spirituality at Borders

Memoirs of a Spiritual Outsider

Suzanne Clores

Conari Press

Ocober 24, Borders, 7 p.m.

By Autumn Jean Kelly

Daily Arts Writer

"No one told me my twenties would be years of major transition," Suzanne Clores begins her book "Memoirs of a Spiritual Outsider." Along with a new independence, many of us are struggling to find a spiritual identity, a deeper meaning that we can rely on.

What has made this search difficult, Clores said, is that "things have been fed to us, like advertising. We're constantly being sold to and have become skeptical." She says we have learned to search outside ourselves for "a wider understanding of reality."

While many of us move through our lives without much thought to the deeper meaning of life, Clores recognizes the support we are lacking. Some choose popular religions to provide this support, such as Christianity, Judaism or Islam. At the extreme, they may turn to cults. "The hunger for a spiritual path can be so strong," she writes, "that for the promise of being fed you can easily compromise what you seek."

Many people do not find a system of beliefs to rely on, and give up their search. According to Clores, they are looking in the wrong places, trying to find something that they already have.

So how do we find the religion that's right for us? Where is this system of beliefs that is just what we need? According to Clores we don't look far, or rather, close enough. She carefully guides us through her own path, which included study of six religions: Buddhism, Wiccan, Vodou, Shamanism, Yoga and Sufism. The book consists of seven chapters, each devoted to a different religion, the last chapter summarizing what she has learned.

Toward the beginning of the book, Clores observes that "We are a generation of channel-flippers ... Dabbling is how we've learned to explore new terrain." She takes on the role of the drifter, frustrated at each instinctual retreat from a religion, almost always feeling lost. Only later does she realize it was the fear of involvement and a lack of trust that kept her moving.

While "Memoirs" allows us to passively "dabble" in six religions, it digs deeper. Clores found that each religion "fosters an individual experience, which is important when you are trying to foster spiritual life. They teach that part of the divine source comes from within, from yourself."

Clores encourages us to cultivate this "sense of a divine aspect of ourselves, and a way of connecting to it." She acknowledges the power of our skepticism and our fear of the unknown, and invites us to move beyond them. As to whether anything but religion can fill this void, she believes that there are many paths, but they must all come from within ourselves. Ultimately, it is a way of "giving to the world."

The book takes the point of view of a feminist author who turned from the Catholic church as a young girl, needing a religion that offered positive female role models. She found these ten years later in Wicca, an ancient religion that worships goddesses as well as gods. Vodou and Shamanism also have female deities, and women play prominent roles in rituals. Incidentally, Clores' guides in each religion were female.

This feminist leaning may have the tendency to deter male readers, though it by no means excludes them. "Memoirs" leads us down a path of discovery that can be experienced by everyone, regardless of gender. As Margot Adler said of Clores, this is a journey toward "a larger and deeper life."

Although she admits that spiritual life at times seems "taxing and unimportant to GenX-ers," she recognizes our desire for structure and a system of beliefs - at the least, a deeper sense of connection to the people around us. After several years, Clores admits she is still finding her own way. In "Memoirs" she begins a conversation about this process, and for those of us who are searching, there is little question of the book's significance.