The SportsMonday column

David Den Herder

A hockey cup by any other name ...

The smell of sweat and trapped humidity in the inner tunnels of Munn Arena was not necessarily pleasant. And the cement-brick walls, whitewashed, offered little ventilation for the 25 reporters and four hot camera lights crammed atop each other.

This seemed an unlikely place - hardly fitting - for the office of college hockey's all-time winningest coach.

But it was cozy. And until last year's renovation, it was the humble office of Michigan State coach Ron Mason.

Now just as certain as I am that a building will someday be named after Michigan legend Red Berenson, (Berenson Arena? Berenson Hall? Berenson Museum?), I know that Mason's name deserves to be in lights of some kind.

Someday.

But CCHA commissioner Tom Anastos has pre-empted us all. As of this season, Michigan - along with everyone else in the league - will be playing for the Mason Cup.

Everyone else, including Ron Mason.

I don't think anybody will dispute that coach Mason has given much to college hockey. He's a good man, and he runs a clean program.

But does anybody else think the timing here is a little bizarre?

What would Bo Schembechler have said in, say, 1970, if Michigan were playing for the Woody Hayes trophy?

How about Mike Krzyzewski? What would he have said in 1992, were Duke actually playing for, say, the Dean Smith trophy?

As a mentor once said: If things were different, they'd be different.

All we can do is speculate - about the past, that is.

But in the spirit of Mr. Anastos and the CCHA, I have taken the liberty of naming several future trophies of my own.

May they live in infamy.

The Lee Bollinger Trophy

Not necessarily given annually, but only to Big Ten presidents that share a last name with any given Big Ten quarterback. The quarterback should play for an overrated school that has, or has not, weaseled its way into the Rose Bowl two consecutive years by ducking the toughest competition in the conference.

The Bob Knight Award

A sportsmanship honor awarded each year to the Big Ten's classiest coach. Swearing at players, staff and media is encouraged, as is the throwing of projectiles onto any surface.

Choking and/or physical abuse of players is a bonus, but you must provide video proof. No cheating.

The Lee Corso Cup

Awarded every year to the victim of a Michigan come-from-

behind victory.

A career in broadcasting, and subsequently picking against Michigan in almost every big game, is recommended after receiving the Cup.

The award will be presented at the end of every college football season by Anthony Carter.

Nominees for this year's Cup: Ron Turner?

The Brutus trophy

Otherwise known as Dat Nut. Given biannually to the most bizarre and/or lamest Big Ten mascot.

Ceremony includes ramming of the crotch into the north goalpost of Michigan Stadium, as per tradition.

Goldie, the Golden Gopher, need not apply.

The Me certificate

Awarded weekly to the person making the worst possible college football picks in the nation.

Candidates, please contact the columnist for the chance to become a guest selector.

Oy.

- David DenHerder can be reached at dden@umich.edu.